Life Lessons With Darryl Strawberry

About a month-and-a-half ago, we told you about an auction that could bring Darryl Strawberry to your classroom to teach your kids a few lessons. We liked the idea and wished we had some spare change hanging around ourselves. We could use a lecture or two from Darryl.

Oh, could we! Turns out, an improv class at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Manhattan ended up hiring Darryl to speak, and he did not disappoint. Some highlights:

"We used to tag-team women. I know all you dudes in here know what I mean when I say that. We used to laugh about it, but now I know it was really wrong." "When I first came up to the big leagues, a veteran player laid out some lines of cocaine for me. He said, yeah, this is what we do in the big leagues. So I did some coke and was like WOAH, man... yeah, this IS what we do in the big leagues." "Man, I used to smoke dope with all kinds of dudes. I don't know how I'm not dead."

Seriously: Is Darryl giving this offer again? We should really put together a Deadspin class for the experience.

Darryl Strawberry, Live And In Person [Gregg Gethard's Amazing Personal Journey] Darryl Strawberry Can Teach Your Kids A Few Tricks [Deadspin]