Five Alternatives to Watching New York Giants vs. Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving

As a red-blooded American, I never thought I would argue against watching NFL football on Thanksgiving, but here we are.

The 10-1 Detroit Lions against Caleb Williams and the Chicago Bears will be fun, if lopsided; the nightcap that sends the Dolphins to Lambeau Field to face the Packers will be solid now that Miami is playing better. Those games aren’t the problem.

It’s the middle game I’m here to warn you about.

I refuse to watch the Dallas Cowboys face the New York Giants, and if you’re honest with yourself, you know you should skip it too.

I know I can’t sway families in Texas for whom Cowboys football is the backbone of the holiday. If you’re from any other state in the union, why are you signing yourself up to watch Cooper Rush vs. either Tommy Cutlets or Drew Lock? 

The Giants are achieving new levels of embarrassment every week, and the Cowboys would be on a six-game losing streak if not for a Washington missed PAT and a couple of kick return touchdowns Sunday, which they won’t replicate.

You may be wondering how to spend the time between the good games this Thursday. Lucky for you, I’ve assembled a list of five superior options so you don’t have to sit through the most miserable slog at AT&T Stadium since Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson.

No. 13 Purdue vs. NC State on FS1 (3 ET)

This one should be getting good just as the Lions and Bears are wrapping up. It’s a rematch of last year’s Final Four game between a No. 1 seed and a team that got really hot at the right time. Zach Edey and DJ Burns are no longer with these respective programs, but your sleepy uncles don’t need to know that when you change the channel. Purdue and NC State are a combined 10-1 to start the season; the Giants and Cowboys have six wins between them.

Battle 4 Atlantis semifinal on ESPN (5 ET)

We won’t know the matchup until Wednesday’s games, but this ought to be No. 24 Arizona vs. Oklahoma unless Providence finds a way to beat the favored Sooners. Arizona has a couple early losses this season, but Caleb Love is the kind of boom-or-bust college star who could go for 30 when you aren’t ready for it. There will be real stakes to this game. 

The only stakes in Cowboys-Giants have to do with draft order.

“It’s a Wonderful Life” on E! (Marathon)

I’d have preferred “Miracle on 34th Street,” but as far as black-and-white holiday flicks go, this is still a great movie. Frank Capra, 1946. If you just want to make fun of Jimmy Stewart’s voice the whole time, I’m not stopping you, but it can also be a vehicle to get into the Christmas spirit. “But Adam, you can watch that movie anytime!” Guess what? If the Cowboys-Giants game is remotely good and you miss it, NFL Network will start airing reruns by Saturday.

“Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking” on Food Network (5 ET)

This new show looks like the perfect thing you can turn on in the background while your family is over the house, and Food Network will air reruns of four hour-long episodes starting at 5. Don’t tell me you’ve never seen one of these novelty baking shows advertised and haven’t been a little bit curious. Thanksgiving is your opportunity to zone out on the couch and watch chocolate wands get made, not to watch six punts in a row.

Talk with your family and friends

I mean, really talk with them. Not about sports. Definitely not about politics. How are they doing? How often do you see them these days, anyway? This is your chance to be present at the dinner table, to get your eyes off your fantasy team or betting app. Be good to your loved ones this Thanksgiving. Don’t watch Cowboys-Giants.