Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out - Deadspin Comments

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

BoeheimIsMySavior — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:47:52 EST

I want to know who Jesus thanks in his postgame interviews.

I would have to assume he thanks TO.

BoeheimIsMySavior

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Rick Chandler — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 09:23:46 EST

Duke, you are truly doing God's work. Bless you.

Rick Chandler

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

DukeDavis — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 22:26:08 EST

In my own personal photoshop exploits, I'm most proud of this one.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y100/samsanov316/jesus.jp...

DukeDavis

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

scumark — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 18:58:31 EST

I want to know who Jesus thanks in his postgame interviews.

scumark

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The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 18:04:11 EST

OK, let's try this again, only with a name that makes sense for my avatar... Thanks, Mullet!

Back on topic: The hockey version of the Romo/Gramatica statue is Jesus knocking the puck off Patrick Stefan's stick.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dale Ellis Driving School — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:37:23 EST

Can Jesus play cornerback? If so Hawks should sign him.

Dale Ellis Driving School

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

T-dawg — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:34:03 EST

Jesus is NOT a Seahawk fan. Unless he is a fan of us the same way he is a fan of Job.

T-dawg

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dale Ellis Driving School — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:33:59 EST

Think it depends on what machine you are logging in from - it remembers you under the old name unless you log out and log back in. I had the same problem moving over from Kemp 40 oz. And yes, I do have an identity crisis.

Dale Ellis Driving School

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:31:17 EST

On topic: If Catholic Shopper sells versions of these with priests instead of Jesus, is the little girl golfer still getting the reach-around?

Off topic: Are identity crises typical for new posters? Last Friday, on Jalopnik, my name was "Fantastic Bellows", like I wanted. Today on Deadspin, I'm back to KWRussell. If I click "Edit My User Profile" from here, it says I'm Fantastic Bellows. Am I doing something wrong? (At least the Trottier avatar is working.)

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dale Ellis Driving School — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:29:03 EST

No wonder Romo fumbles the snap! Jesus is right there talking shit to him! I guess he's a Seahawks fan.

Dale Ellis Driving School

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Craigbob — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:56:51 EST

Jesus doing a beer bong with a couple of Duke lacrosse players.

Craigbob

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

T-dawg — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:50:25 EST

Nobody fucks with the Seahawks-- uh-- I mean Jesus.

T-dawg

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TheStarterWife — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:44:49 EST

Dweeze got the joke. I heart Dweeze.

TheStarterWife

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Larry Bird Flu — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:43:06 EST

Seeing that Jesus pose (next to Romo/Gramatica) reminds me of the joke:

Why do the ladies love Jesus so much?

Because he's hung like this (arms out to side in crucifixion pose)

Larry Bird Flu

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

ABrown — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:35:38 EST

Did anyone see the Golf statue on page 2 of the site? it is straight up porn

ABrown

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

DaisukeMyBallz — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:23:21 EST

I am a little disheartened to see my Lord and Savior throwing a forward lateral. Cmon, Jesus, just take the hit and go down. You always try to do too much.

DaisukeMyBallz

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Jojosh_the_Pi — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:16:26 EST

How old are these statues? The boy in one of the soccer statues has short shorts like that kid in Godzilla's Revenge!

Jojosh_the_Pi

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Jojosh_the_Pi — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:10:33 EST

Hey, it's pasty white Jesus again! Just like everyone else in the Middle East, really.

Jojosh_the_Pi

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

MidwestCoastBias — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:09:41 EST

*sorry, Dweeze didn't request the poker, TSW did.

MidwestCoastBias

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

MidwestCoastBias — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:08:27 EST

It's Catholic Shopper, Dweeze; Jesus would be playing bingo.

MidwestCoastBias

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Tuffy — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:08:05 EST

but who calls a blitz against JESUS?

Also, the Ottomans.

Tuffy

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Robert Barone’s Dog — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:05:15 EST

Is there anything this guy isn't good at? Besides carpentry.

Jesus, the Bad Carpenter.

Apparently, yes.

Robert Barone’s Dog

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Chamomiles Davis — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:54:34 EST

I'll take fifty, please.

Chamomiles Davis

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dweeze — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:51:22 EST

Oh, and I want one of Jesus at a poker table...

Here you go, TSW.

Dweeze

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Homer — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:49:52 EST

If Moses wasn't on the IR, he would of had a HUGE lane to run through

Homer

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dweeze — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:49:09 EST

Bravo, I Am Eaten. Bravo.

Dweeze

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:48:23 EST

who calls a blitz against JESUS?

Judas didn't pick up the safety coming from the edge.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Carson — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:48:02 EST

I want the "Devil whispering 'you can catch it!' to Steve Bartman" figurine.

Carson

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

TheStarterWife — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:47:53 EST

Oh, and I want one of Jesus at a poker table...

TheStarterWife

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:47:50 EST

Just a quick consumer advocate note: don't buy the knock-offs, or you get stuck with Matty or Felipe.

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

TheStarterWife — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:47:33 EST

How does Jesus run in flip-flops? That's the real miracle...

TheStarterWife

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Charles — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:47:05 EST

Pity da fool: I immediately think of Diego Maradona's "Hand of God" goal (naturally, God is also punching the ball in the goal.)

Charles

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Craigbob — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:46:59 EST

I want one of Jesus videotaping Marv Albert biting a hooker's back.

Craigbob

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Fire JayPa — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:41:30 EST

The Preakness: In order to renew the faith of a bunch of horny old women, Jesus breaks BBBB's ankle.

SHOTY: Jesus helps BBBB beat Carl Monday and Berman by making all vote repeatedly.

Fire JayPa

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dweeze — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:38:52 EST

Not that they aren't all a little creepy, but the Jesus and the Gymnasts and the Jesus and the Ballerinas statues portray a Christ who, if he isn't careful, is going to be caught by a Dateline pedo sting some day.

Dweeze

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Denis Lemieux — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:36:50 EST

Sorry Diddly, our moms won't let us play football.

Denis Lemieux

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

schultz_gary — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:35:55 EST

It looks to me like Jesus is about to give "Defender-dragging Football Billy" a nice "Good game. See you in the showers" pat on the ass.

schultz_gary

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

diddly — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:35:42 EST

who calls a blitz against JESUS?

The jews.

diddly

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Triple B — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:34:49 EST

Is jesus pulling the "reach around" on the golf one? I always knew it was a higher power that invented that move. Thank you Jesus.

Triple B

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Summer-of-George — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:34:00 EST

Cute little figurines, but I hope Jesus isn't watching over me when I play my favorite sport.

In other news, my favorite sport is the One Man Tug-O-War, I play at least once a day.

Summer-of-George

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Denis Lemieux — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:33:02 EST

If you look at the rest of the figures, there is one for biking/rollerblading only the kids are doing it on grass! First he walks on water then he rollerblades on grass. Is there anything this guy isn't good at? Besides carpentry.

Denis Lemieux

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

algiers4 — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:32:44 EST

i love the kid taking down jesus during the handoff. great penetration on the play but who calls a blitz against JESUS?

algiers4

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Shorty — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:32:40 EST

it wasn't brett hull's skate in the crease, it was Jesus'!

Shorty

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Triple B — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:32:14 EST

So the Cowboys really are God's team?

DLemeiux: I'd rather use the skate blade to trim Tie Domi's eyebrows, those things are tough to look at

Triple B

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Red Sox Monster — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:31:18 EST

You know, a few years ago, I'm bettin' for sure you'd have had a Buckner one lined up. And, actually, that's a good start for some more statues based on real-life events:

1. Buckner statue (God giggling in background as ball goes through legs)

2. Tuck Rule Snow Bowl statue (God in snow suit?)

3. Scott Norwood Super Bowl statue (God blowing really hard as the kick goes up)

4. Chris Webber Michigan Final 4 statue (God whispering to Webber to call timeout)

5. Jeffrey Maier statue (with God giving Derek Jeter a thumbs up sign)

Any other ideas? I bet you we can hit 25, easy...

Red Sox Monster

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

CDNMoose — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:31:15 EST

The Tuna wept.

CDNMoose

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Homer — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:31:05 EST

The one with Jesus showing the boy how to swing a bad reminds me of the pinball scene in Bad Santa

Homer

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Shorty — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:30:46 EST

I like the skiing one. Jesus doesn't need skis, he walks on snow!

Shorty

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dread — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:30:43 EST

Kinda looks like Jesus is about to fornicate with the youngster in the basketball statue. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jesus is also cozy with the golfer and the gymnasts.

Dread

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Shorty — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:29:36 EST

you really owe it to yourself to go and look at the rest of the lineup on that website.

fucking hilarious

Shorty

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

badbabu — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:29:09 EST

You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus.

badbabu

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Shorty — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:28:17 EST

Denis, maybe he can spear Tie Domi too

Shorty

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Metschick — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:28:04 EST

if they pull the camera a bit farther back at the U-FIU fight, would be see Jesus egging Ned on?

289!

Metschick

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dweeze — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:27:33 EST

would be see

We. Would we see.

Dweeze

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

algiers4 — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:27:24 EST

and still no 'moving pick on god (shammgod)' tag.. sad

algiers4

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Metschick — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:27:22 EST

Jesus hates black people. And Latinos.

I thought the same thing. Jesus is a racist.

Metschick

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Denis Lemieux — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:26:59 EST

Where is the 'Jesus showing Sean Salisbury a picture of lil Jesus on his cell phone' statue?

Denis Lemieux

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Kid Canada — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:26:06 EST

The Jesus hockey figurine tried preaching to the kids and got 2 minutes for obstruction-interference.

Kid Canada

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Ladies love Fennis — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:25:47 EST

Jesus teaching D on the low post? I can buy that. But a girl playing baseball? I'm calling bullshit.

Ladies love Fennis

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Kathleen Turner Overdrive — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:25:43 EST

I'm waiting for the "Jesus Helps Little Boomer Fingerbang a Stripper" sculpture.

Kathleen Turner Overdrive

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Dweeze — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:25:29 EST

So, if they pull the camera a bit farther back at the U-FIU fight, would be see Jesus egging Ned on?

Dweeze

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Christ Sabo — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:24:56 EST

Kinda looks like Jesus is about to fornicate with the youngster in the basketball statue. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Christ Sabo

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Homer — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:24:40 EST

I find it amusing that athletes always thank God for their talents whenever they have a great game. Tony Romo would go down in sports history as the greatest of all time if he would of said "Jesus made me fumble"

Homer

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

BoSox Siobhan — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:24:36 EST

Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life.

BoSox Siobhan

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Denis Lemieux — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:24:33 EST

Damn, I was hoping for 'Hockey dad Jesus' complete with Jesus stabbing another parent with a skate blade.

I also would have settled for a statue of Jesus spearing Darcy Tucker.

Denis Lemieux

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Kenny Loggins — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:24:27 EST

Jesus hates black people. And Latinos.

Kenny Loggins

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

ltwinslow — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:23:56 EST

kind of a dick move to be blocking #6's shot like that huh?

ltwinslow

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Christmas Ape — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:22:43 EST

The "I give up" Jesus would be more fitting next to our new SHOTY champion.

Christmas Ape

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Greek McPapadopoulos — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:22:28 EST

I want the Jesus playing blackjack figurine. If you look closely, he's giving the "hit" signal on 17.

Greek McPapadopoulos

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

llpvol — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:21:35 EST

I'm waiting for the new line...Jesus with the coaches...leading with Jesus with Nick Saban and the "kissing" fans

llpvol

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Detective Bunk — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:20:16 EST

If Jesus isn't careful, the little yellow and red hockey player is going to elbow him in his nads.

Detective Bunk

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

KOGOD — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:20:08 EST

Christ seems to be saying "I give up"

Or "Just crucify me!"

KOGOD

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out

Christ Sabo — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 15:20:08 EST

Where's Jesus with Chris Sabo? I'd buy that, and I don't even care for the guy.

Christ Sabo