<![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I would figure that Tyson's clientel would be mostly men on the down low, and judging from Tyson's performance in the movie Black & White, I don't think he's ready for that.

I always thought it was Huffington's accent that made her middle-age sexy. You speak Greek? I've got Uzo for two-zo.


Disco Stu was talkin' to you!

BunnyColvinSecurity

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> i have a ticket for the tour's kickoff in youngstown this friday and haven't been this excited since i thought the redskins would be reborn with the return of joe gibbs. i hope this isn't a sign of the crushing disappointment to come. spadafora better not let his girlfriend drive him to ohio.

doxastic

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> They tried to make me go meet my doom
But I sucker punched my coach and hauled to my dressing room
The next day the headline in the town:
"Fresh Prince breaks camp, Tyson wins first round"
Some fool asked why I ran away
I said "a good run is better than a bad stand anyday"
My career is over as far as fightin' but
I don't know what made me think I can beat Mike Tyson.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> +1 Mackey.

Big ups on introducing the Movable Buffet to Deadspin. It's tied with Deadspin for my favorite places on the Interweb.

all hail blue and gold

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I don't know about that Jedi...Ariana looks pretty damned good for a 56 year old (completely ignoring her political stance and awful accent). And Simmons did have an Aurora Snow mention after all.

BigTDog

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Sir Hotbod,

I believe the comment you were looking for was:

If the condom breaks, Mike Tyson will eat your children free of charge

Mackey-Sasser

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I would totally do Arianna Huffington. But that is because I have a thing for batshit republicans who turn into batshit democrats.

williamzabka

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> If we're going to mention Simmons' article in here, I have to note the he named Ariana Huffington as a member of the "Diane Lane over 40-hot chicks" list.

It's true. Simmons has totally lost touch with reality.

Russkiejedi

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Tyson doesn't need to ask. Where there are no bitches, he makes one.

ReverendDrGladhands

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I'd be way more intimidated by LT asking where the bitches were than Tyson.

diddly

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> In light of the update, and since it hasn't been said already . . .

Run, you stupid fucking dinosaur, run!

BowdenBowdenBowden

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> there is an "I want to eat your babies" joke somewhere in here, but I just can't seem to find it

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I shudder to think what Mike might be biting of.

ReverendDrGladhands

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Heike Kagero kinda looked like a hooker...

MDT

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> "...and especially get paid for it." Wow. Glass Joe could head up the valet team.

GorgeForeman

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Tyson also advised

"To be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels."

Jefferson DArcy

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Since someone mentioned Borat, I can totally hear Tyson in his tiny little voice saying "Please come visit me in brothel. If it not sucess, I will be execute."

Frinklin

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> "Think you guys can handle one more Mike Tyson bit?" shouldnt it be BITE?

Mike Honcho

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> It is every man's dream to please every woman.

Michael. There's no pleasing any of them.

Lt. Exley

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I heard on Stern once that Tyson has coke-can girth so, ya, he probably needs women that are extremely thick in the britches.

Poster Nutbag

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Beat up women, sex up women... make up your damned mind, Mike.

Frinklin

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> For anyone who is interested I have the code to get to Tyson on Punch Out tattooed around my right forearm. "007 373 5963." And yes I am a nerd and have nothing specific to add to the topic.

williamzabka

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I can't believe nobody's made a Mutumbo joke, so lemme give it a shot:

WHO WANTS TO SEX TYSON?

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> And to think of all the respect I had for Tyson before hearing of his willingness to be a male prostitute. Well, at least Ear-Biter Magazine's Sexiest Man of 1997 is finally available to fuck regular folks.

M.S.H.

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Little Mac couldn't last a day in prison.

WBRS Sports Blog

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> BTW, I once had a Kazak roommate when I studied abroad and it frequently scares me how good of an imitation Borat is of his voice and overt bigotry and cluelessness.

Christmas Ape

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> "every woman no matter how old, how young, how fat, how pretty, how ugly"

Anyone else notice that Iron Mike 'forgot' to juxtapose something with "fat"? At least we know how everyone's favorite cannibal likes his women.

The Seaward (nee Tocchets Bookie)

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Tyson is fighting a dinosaur? Why am I not surprised.

goathair

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> He is no. 1 stud in all of Almaty.

Christmas Ape

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I still want to see Tyson fight that guy Bob Sapp (think he's a kickboxer)

The Great Gondorff

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> It wont be long now until Tyson is donning a gimp mask and chugging balls....

Hit Bull Win Steak

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Everytime Tyson punches a woman in the gunt, a blinking star appears over her head....

Biff Pocoroba

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I normally don't do interviews with women unless I'm paid to fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore ... Unless you want to, you know...

Drew Magary

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I hope everyone realized that Tyson was the bitch in prison. What the hell else would you expect? My 3 yr old niece has a lower voice than Tyson. I'm just waiting for someone to convince Tyson that he can make a lot of money being the star of a snuff film.

Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> It's "Every man's dream to please every woman"? That's not what the beer commercials tell me.

Delicious Pundit

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Remember - dodge his uppercuts or you're gone. Be careful when he winks at you; an attack is coming, but when he blinks jab him in the face.

Chicago Jones

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I was Heidi's first choice but my wife wouldn't let me do it, so Heidi asked Mike.

bigboneded

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> On a slightly Tyson related note, did anyone read Simmons' new article? It feels like there are 2 or 3 questions that come directly from Deadspin. Not to mention the whole 'Anchorman' slant on the UM-FIU brawl.

goathair

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> It worked for Butterbean.

Trent

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I misread this entire post initially. I thought it was about Heidi Klum and Will mistook Seal for Mike Tyson.

You'd think drinking one of those mondo coffee things from starbucks would make me MORE aware of what the hell is going on around me.

redsoxchick

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Heidi plans on renaming the place Eli Roth's Hostel: The Ride.

Drew Magary

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Some people will do anything for Tigers WS tickets.

ILoveIt

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Quick aside: Nick Broomfield's Heidi Fleiss movie is frickin' genius, if only because it includes several interviews with two of the most bizarre people this side of Joey Porter: Coked-out Hungarian pimp Ivan Nagy, and the late, great, irredemably pudgy Madam Alex. Highly recommended.

And, oh yeah, Tyson should totally do this.

tetsuo24

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> his signature move involves gently nibbling on the girls earlobe

ltwinslow

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> He wants to fight women and work in a brothel. The donkey punch is all fun and games until someone gets killed.

sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> You know, my ex-girlfriends birthday is coming up....

Fornelli

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> and this probably will go down as one of my favorite lines ever: "hell yeah, I'll be your number 1 stud."

THE hoi polloi

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Didn't Tyson approach Jenna Jamison about performing in one of her movies?

The guy's broke, and if we can learn just one lesson with Bill Simmons' obsession with Boogie Nights, is that a guy will do anything for money.

Brad_Lee

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Un-fucking-believable... I wish I could have heard his lispy, squeaky voice utter those words.

THE hoi polloi

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> It's not rape if she pays for it, your honor.

Brad_Lee

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I was under the impression that King Hippo was Heidi's number one stud.

Deadspin

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> I am so glad my fantasy of being sexually assaulted and then having my ear bitten off by a boxer can finally come true. That jar under my bed full of change will finally be of good use!

And I thought I was going to have to save my money and ask Peter McNeely instead.

Hamster-Style

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Will Don Flamenco work there too?

Spectacular Sam

]]> <![CDATA[Mike Tyson Would Like You To Pay Him So He Can Have Sex With You]]> Why would a woman travel to Vegas and pay Tyson when she can get raped for free at home?

Doctor Lingerie

]]>