Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep - Deadspin Comments

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

soozycue — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 16:10:15 EDT

Hey! That was entertaining Tuffy, thank you. I'll admit I never knew the second verse. I think I had bad parents.

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

ack — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:40:34 EDT

Oh Juan - first they mystery back pain, now this. I knew something was wrong when I actually witnessed you not swinging at the first pitch for the last 1/3 of the season.

World Series Shortstop to Dominican Fugitive in less than a year - that there is a career!

ack

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Spanish Necktie — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 14:30:43 EDT

Was everyone able to keep hold of their wallets through this ordeal?

Spanish Necktie

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

tpstoner — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:56:53 EDT

Why did Ed Farmer try to intervene?

tpstoner

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Tuffy — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:56:03 EDT

soozycue:

The joke stands alone.

Tuffy

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Messler — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:55:41 EDT

Actually, this is all part of Arod's plan to play shortstop for the White Sox.

Messler

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Kid Canada — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:50:58 EDT

Dear Juan Uribe,

Sorry I borrowed your machete.

Sincerely,

Ugueth

Kid Canada

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Yinka Double Dare — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:46:54 EDT

Dude probably made fun of Juan's 'ghetto booty'.

I see the requisite jokes about him swinging at anything have already been made, good job.

Yinka Double Dare

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

feep — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:41:01 EDT

But why didn't they just run over the guys? I thought driving over objects with your Jeep was what they were made for. Didn't they go to Jeep camp?

feep

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

soozycue — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:40:48 EDT

tuffy - 2 actually, but no wife. and i'm no farmer.

soozycue

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

balki — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:39:41 EDT

Who wants to bet Uribe is playing in the majors next year?

balki

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Russkiejedi — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:38:21 EDT

According to the Google translation, he shot the guys "because they happened to him closely together to his yipeta."

When people happen to me closely together to MY yipeta... well, you don't want to know what happens.

Russkiejedi

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Large — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:36:45 EDT

Ozzie told him he had to shoot them

Large

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

UIUC-Chief — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:34:14 EDT

Johnny Blackshoe,

Its only been 98 years (the anniversary being this past saturday), which is why I only drank 98% of a bottle of Cien Anos Tequila, I was going to go with 98 beers but figured the liver needed a break this weekend.

Also its of importance to note that the captain was eating chicken when he was shot, so maybe Uribe just didnt want chicken grease on his jeep.

UIUC-Chief

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Steve518 — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:30:39 EDT

"Dondolin Alessandro, a captain in the Italian Navy..."

Obviously.

Steve518

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Metschick — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:28:44 EDT

The brother's name is Elpidio, not Elipidio. It's still a hideous name.

Also, "jeep" is what us Latinos call every SUV. So his vehicle is probably not a jeep.

Metschick

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

44 in a Row — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:25:49 EDT

So a baseball player, a farmer, and a captain in the Italian Navy get into a fight... I got nothin'.

44 in a Row

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Greek McPapadopoulos — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:25:30 EDT

I guess this is the Latin American equivalent of "smudging my Puma".

Greek McPapadopoulos

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Mike Honcho — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:23:29 EDT

They tried to explain why they were walking too close to his Jeep, but Juan didnt understand due to they're not habla'ing espanol very well.

Mike Honcho

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Tuffy — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:23:08 EDT

soozycue:

Taking a wife. You don't have kids, do you?

Tuffy

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

diddly — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:22:38 EDT

I always thought those alarms that told you you were too close to the car were pretty sweet. Never heard of someone actually getting shot though. I will be more careful from now on.

diddly

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

THE hoi polloi — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:22:10 EDT

Nice call BBraskey, but I was thinking more along the lines of an MC Breed song, "Ain't no Future in Ur Frontin'" In which Mr. Breed talks getting his named chromed on his Jeep and handling anyone that's "fronts" on it...

THE hoi polloi

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

all hail blue and gold — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:21:10 EDT

Elipidio... sounds like a cross between lipid and libido.

Hey, Holly Mangold!

all hail blue and gold

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

PaulU — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:21:00 EDT

Maybe Juan was pulling an Eddie Griffin at the time. If that's the case, then I say his shooting is completely justified.

PaulU

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

shamu the whale — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:18:37 EDT

Oo! Ree-bay!

I know this contributes nothing to the story, but it had to be said.

shamu the whale

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

hiphopnerd — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:18:25 EDT

Uribe is pretty good at turning twin killings...

hiphopnerd

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

apostles03 — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:18:10 EDT

I thought the U.N. outlawed the Italian Navy because they left a ring around the ocean.

I keed, I keed.

apostles03

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Off The Baggie — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:17:43 EDT

I routinely stomp people for walking too close to my Kia...

And don't let me catch you looking at my Ford Focus...

Off The Baggie

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

soozycue — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:16:40 EDT

what was the farmer doing there?

soozycue

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Woody — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:15:03 EDT

Way to get fired as a broadcaster next year - "Uribe guns down the runner at home like someone walking to close to his Jeep."

Woody

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Criminal Appeal — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:13:06 EDT

Uribe has always been known to take his shots at anything even near his strike zone.

Criminal Appeal

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Johnny Blackshoe — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:11:41 EDT

UIUC-Chief,

Deep breaths...deeeeeep breaths. I understand it's been a century, but we White Sox fans did nothing to you. Take it out on Cub management.

Johnny Blackshoe

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Good vs Evil — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:11:13 EDT

He had wounds to both his hands AND stomach? You mean the bullets went through his hands somehow?

Good vs Evil

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Sic Transit Gloria — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:09:30 EDT

The Uribe brothers should expect football scholarship offers to Miami and FIU soon.

Sic Transit Gloria

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

McSwollenvich — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:09:11 EDT

This reminds me of a classic R. Kelly song, "You Remind Me of My Jeep".

McSwollenvich

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Robert Barone’s Dog — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:09:01 EDT

Must be a Jeep thing...

Robert Barone’s Dog

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

HugsFromHarold — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:05:31 EDT

Uribe swung 100 times connecting twice there by raising his 2006 average.

HugsFromHarold

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Metschick — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:03:47 EDT

This is why I am usually scared of DR. I love visiting, but there are way too many hotheads with guns down there.

Metschick

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

BigTDog — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:03:42 EDT

Is there a Juan Uribe bobblehead doll?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsIM2HB0hrs

BigTDog

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

UIUC-Chief — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:03:19 EDT

The Uribe brother are currently fugitives from the law according to the report, also there was a gun battle between the captain and the Uribe brothers and the authorities dont know if anyone else was injured.

Oh and its good to see that White Sox players are taking on the personality of their scumbag fans, maybe Uribe can plan to surrender at 7:11, so he can get a free cherry Icee.

UIUC-Chief

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Lucy's Spunk — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:02:42 EDT

Poor Elipidio. I'd be mad too if people associated my name with women's grooming products.

Lucy's Spunk

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Frank the Tank — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:01:49 EDT

Criminal Appeal,

It would have been a lot worse if someone had moved the chairs from Juan's parking space on the street that he shoveled the snow out of.

Frank the Tank

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Larry Bird Flu — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:01:18 EDT

Italy has a navy? That's adorable!

Larry Bird Flu

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Mike Diesel — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:00:30 EDT

Maybe the FIU players got too close to Uncle Fester's jeep, right before he turned the thugs loose on them.

Mike Diesel

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Raskolnikov — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:59:54 EDT

Dondolin Alessandro, a captain in the Italian Navy, suffered wounds to his stomach and hands.

Just another reason for Jay Mariotti to hate the White Sox.

Raskolnikov

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Doctor Lingerie — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:59:17 EDT

And...Jazz hands!

Doctor Lingerie

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Kooby Pickett — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:58:57 EDT

Will, does it indeed feel good to be a gangsta?

Kooby Pickett

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Criminal Appeal — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:57:31 EDT

I hate when someone walks too close to my jeep. Must be a Chicago thing.

Criminal Appeal

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Denis Lemieux — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:54:56 EDT

Am I correct in assuming that the name "Elipidio Uribe" is like the foreign version of our John Smith?

Denis Lemieux

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Rob Iracane — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:54:24 EDT

Baseball Musings had the original Spanish language report

Insert Steve Lyons/Lou Pinella joke here.

Rob Iracane

Juan Uribe Is Sensitive About His Jeep

Hustler of Culture — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:54:15 EDT

Jeep? He shot somebody for being to close to his jeep?

What would he have done if it had actualy been a nice car? Castration?

Hustler of Culture