Brook Lopez, one half of the approximately 14 feet that is the Lopez twins, was considered the more-talented basketball brother at Stanford University this past season. Although possibly not the more mature. Witness his wit and wisdom during the NBA Draft, including the highly quotable: "This is so booooooring!"

Lopez went to the Nets with the 10th pick, so I don't know what he was complaining about. Did he expect to go second? Robin Lopez then went to the Suns at No. 15. If Shaq sticks around, that's some speedy team they're building in Arizona.

Brook Lopez Is A Special Guy [Odenized]

There's a tendency, when an athlete comes to an American sports from another country (particularly a European one), to make fun of them for not understanding our sports culture, as if they are dumb or have never seen fans boo before. The guy's from Italy. We're pretty sure he's dealt with crazy fans before. Knicks fans booing? That's nothin'. Though he could definitely improve on his ability to appropriately Vogue.

The general consensus — as if anybody knows anything — is that the Trail Blazers did well, the Bobcats did poorly and that the Nets are so desperate to land LeBron that they're willing to play Vince Carter and four stooges for the next couple of years. That makes an odd amount of sense.

By the way: The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society returned, again, to watch the man work.

By the way, what can we possibly say about yesterday? We didn't know it was happening and were absolutely blown away. Simmons? Van Pelt? That RIDICULOUS Skeets video, which we could send to Bob Costas if, you know, Bob Costas had an email address. We're not sure what we can possibly say except to salute the genius of Drew and Daulerio for putting it together and to be supremely aware that there's no possible way we're gonna be able to top that today. We'll try to finish up around 5 today so everyone can go enjoy their weekend. So bear with us.

-Hold everything. The WWL reports the mother of all draft night trades: the rights to Mayo, Marko Jaric, Antoine Walker and Greg Buckner to the Grizzlies in return for the draft rights to Kevin Love, Mike Miller, Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins. I knew McHale couldn't resist Love!

-Okay, last word. Chalmers going to Miami might matter. Sneaky way to pick up a point guard, one who went a lot later than he should've. No one but DraftExpress has that Batum to Portland deal. And I messed up who DeAndre Jordan went to. Blame it on the fatigue. With that, I bid you good night.

-Thanks for making Deadspin your NBA Draft destination. We should all expect some answers tomorrow.

-47. Wizards: Bill Walker. And there it is. Bilas, it wasn't a torn miniscus during workouts.

-Strangely, Bilas and Stu seem to be getting more lucid the longer this drags on.

-Just waiting on Bill Walker, then I quit.

-Finally. Douglas-Roberts goes to the Nets at 40. This might have put New Jersey past Portland for best draft. If you care about stuff like that.

-Sidney Weems sounds like someone who would've played for the Bulls in the 1970's.

-Forgot to mention that Chalmers went to the Wolves at 34. This CDR stuff is getting ridiculous.

-Apparently, I missed something important: Arthur going to the Rockets for Batum and a second-rounder, which I think already happened. Wasn't Seattle supposed to have the 400 picks in this draft?

-This is when we point out that Portland can't really bring on too many new players, so it's good to have a promising draftee stashed away in Europe.

-Oh, and I reminded Doc that, by taking Giddens in the first round, it wasn't a question of whether he "could play for us." It's called a guaranteed contract.

-Wow, that was great. I've been writing since the second round started and it all disappeared. Basically, I was surprised that Dorsey went before CDR (no shit), thought Portland was doing well

-Also, I made a joke about Adam Silver being the mouth inside the Alien's mouth, and wondered if I'd made it last year.

-30. Celtics: J.R. Giddens. KING ME. DRAFT GENIUS IN ACTION. If you scroll up/back/down forty-five miles or so, you'll notice me saying he could be the forgotten guard that teams take a look at when they're drafting late. Then again, I also assumed Chalmers, Douglas-Roberts, and Walker would be gone.

-Does Dick Vitale even watch pro basketball?

-There are so many Kinks songs you could write about Bilas.

-Why are the Celtics getting to take so long? This preferential treatment stops NOW.

-By the way, I said to someone today, this second round is going to matter. Stay tuned. That's where the real important stuff will happen.

-You know how the Class of 2007 was supposed to be so great for the sport, and then was a total letdown. The draft of 2008 is like that. They should cut away to Beasley and Riley's ongoing phone conversation, where they're debating the meaning of life, love and everything.

-Reminder: MARIO CHALMERS, CHRIS DOUGLAS-ROBERTS, DEANDRE JORDAN, BILL WALKER

-29. Pistons: D.J. White.

-JVG with an uncommon note of sincerity is his plea for appreciation of the Pistons, and "all they have accomplished."

-28. Grizzlies: Donte Greene. Gay&Warrick&Greene would be an amazing, if implausible, frontline. Too bad Kevin Love spoils the pot. Really stupid of them to not take CDR, unless it's proof they're planning to move ASAP. Yes, I am dealing in conspiracy theories at this late hour.

-Grizz on the clock, blah blah blah, they might want to consider "best available." Oh wait, there are still like 6 or 7 guys left who were supposed to go in the teens. What a bittersweet luxury.

-I'm hoping we'll start hearing about some trades soon. . .

-27. Hornets (for Blazers): Darrell Arthur. Yeah, I'd say that this draft has worked out well for Portland. Bayless and Arthur for a team that gets Oden, too, to start next season. Oh, and Ike Diogu, who at one point everyone wanted to trade for.

-Incidentally, this Ibaka pick makes me think that the Sonics lost their lease battle thing.

-Wow. The Blazers as a "struggling young team?" Did someone not watch last season?

-Hold up, didn't Turiaf get drafted when he needed a heart transplant? What's the big deal about a little kidney issue?

-26. Spurs: George Hill. Hill's from IUPI, which I thought was a news wire service.

-D'Antoni is so real. The only person willing to say that, if you need a point guard to turn a team around, you can't just assume that the third best one in the draft will do that. There's drafting for need in rotation, then there's drafting for need in a real, franchise-defining way. The latter is not to be taken lightly.

-25. Rockets: Nicolas Batum. Okay, that's nice. He was a projected lottery pick at one point. T-Mac won't last forever. They could use some more athleticism.

-Ugh. Undisclosed kidney issue for Arthur.

-Okay, now that I've gotten over gushing about Ibaka, that was stupid of Presti. I just listed everyone still on the board. The Sonics need people who can play; Ibaka the polar opposite of that. He won't even be in the NBA for years! It sure goes along with trying to keep the team bad. But really, CDR, Chalmers, Arthur, Greene couldn't have helped?

-As my colleague Chris Littmann put it "some contenders are about to load up."

-24. Sonics: Serge Ibaka. Okay, that's fucking weird. Ibaka's agent told teams not to take him first round, since he's signing a huge contract in Spain. With a big buyout. Going in the second would mean he could come over earlier. But I guess the Sonics really wanted him. Full disclosure: He's one of my favorites in this draft. Insane athlete, raw but resourceful, kind of like Tyrus Thomas if he understood the abstract principle of learning or problem-solving. Has been coached some.

-So we're at 24, and Arthur's available, and CDR, and Chalmers (depends on if you think Westbrook is a PG). And Donte Greene. . .

-23. Jazz: Kosta Koufos. Stu: "He is here in spirit because he is so big."

-22. Magic: Courtney Lee. A lot of people saw this one coming a mile away. He's a guard, but he's big. I don't know if that means the Magic are committing to small + Howard or making an effort to beef up.

-JVG is an honorary Jew, SVG an honorary Latino.

-My bad. . . 21. Nets: Ryan Anderson

I spaced out for a second there trying to find some reaction whatsoever in the comments to this. I wonder if y'all are just reading the comments as their own live-blog. God damn interactive web publishing.

-Okay, so about this leaving the green room: Doesn't that show a lack of character? Weakness? Refusal to take it like a man? Is it less manly than crying in the green room?

WWDRD?

WWMBD?

WWBLD?

ESPN, you can thank me later for that brilliant draft promo campaign.

-20. Bobcats: Alexis Ajinca. Color me absolutely shocked. I actually know something about Ajinca, or can at least say that I've interviewed him. He is physically ridiculous, and pretty darn skilled, but yeah, he's not ready yet. I just can't imagine Larry Brown likes this idea, or that Michael Jordan cares enough to think into the future and imagine what Ajinca might play like.

-Larry Brown and Michael Jordan are going to make me a sandwich, because that's the one thing happening right now that they couldn't screw up. Actually, scratch that. "Larry Brown and Michael Jordan Making A Sandwich" is a Terry Riley short film.

-That was really dumb, seeing as they need a point guard (Chalmers) and could use some more varied offense (Arthur).

-19. Cavs: J.J. Hickson. Wait, I don't understand. Is a motor an attitude thing, or a physical thing? Or both?

My thinking, as of right now—which is how LeBron thinks about this team, which is what matters—is that Hickson < Gooden < Boozer.

-A TRADE: AND AGAIN I AM ALIVE That's what I'm talking about. Pacers get Jack and Brandon Rush, Blazers get Bayless and Diogu.

Of course Rush's reaction doesn't change, they all say the same thing no matter what.

THE RUSHES: REUNITED. That's a little tear for my eyes.

Not sure why the Pacers need Jack, when they got Ford. I guess they were more interested in backing up Ford than complementing him. Bayless still has to learn how to play the point, I guess, because he's not taking minutes from Roy. But he's certainly got more long-term potential than Jack, who is a poster child for draft pick ceiling.

-Words of wisdom from Jackson. Words to live by: "Take a fresh piece of gum and enjoy it."

-18. Wizards: JaVale McGee. I like to dream of a future where McGee and Blatche will threaten the sanity of the East. I wonder how Jamison feels.

-I take back the Brenda Fraser comment, Brook Lopez is like a giant brain-addled Joaquin Phoenix.

-"He's going to bring someone who can defend at the defensive end."—Terry Porter

-17. Pacers (from Toronto): Roy Hibbert. Ho-hum. A big guy to replace Jermaine O'Neal, I guess. As the team emphasis shifts to Danny Granger. When you've already got Jeff Foster. Why didn't they take Darrell Arthur, who suddenly became a storyline when we were reminded he was in the green room still?

They didn't invite Donte Greene because of the similarity to Rashard Lewis.

-16. Sixers: Marreese Speights. I like this pick. As much as I wanted them to take another wing, Speights has a chance to be what Reggie Evans was for those two games when he was busy being something far, far greater than Reggie Evans.

-I am really sorry for not saying much about the interviews. The technical difficulties threw me for a loop.

-What exactly is the advertising demographic for the NBA Draft? People who like sort of humorous PG adventure movies?

-Just wait till that Lopez Brothers movie where Brendan Fraser plays both.

-15. Suns: Robin Lopez. Steve Kerr is really trying to prove a point, I guess. Amare is on the block.

-It's really strange that the Warriors are the ultimate in up-tempo teams, but really don't have much interest in long, athletic finishers. They'd rather put Stephen Jackson or Pietrus at the PF.

-Vitale's on, so I can tune out the tv and think a little. Oh wait, he just said "you can always find some guards later." Right, except for this year.

He has fixated on the one guy he can bring his potential rant out for.

-Okay, about the Randolph pick: If Nelson isn't playing Wright, why exactly is Randolph an appealing option?

-14. Warriors: Anthony Randolph.

Bilas: "Considerable linear extent in space." Is Jeru ghostwriting for him?

-13. Blazers: Brandon Rush. Eventually, they're going to need a point guard, but Portland's stockpile of young talent is pretty impressive.

-I have waited so long to say this somewhere it would be seen: I want to smack the fuck out of that guy. Who relates to this nattily-dressed couch surfer? He's about as sympathetic as a trust fund cokehead with closet full of R.E.I. gear.

-Basketball hat on: I wonder why the Kings wouldn't have gone with one of the more potentiall-y big men. I know they need to figure out their SF/SG logjam, but is this the end of the Brad Miller era?

-12. Kings: Jason Thompson Huh? I guess he is, other than Hibbert, the "most ready to play now" of the zillion big men left.

Still, I thought he was supposed to go #30.

-How come no one ever asks "can you play the center in the pros" or PF, or SF. . . it's not like point guard is the only position that has any formal requirements or responsibilities.

-11. Pacers: Jerryd Bayless. Yeah, I'd say that counts as a steal. Plus, the Pacers seems less concerned than others about whether or not Bayless is (yet) a real point, since they just got Ford.

-Okay, I think I got things working again. Sorry about that.

-"A really big mean streak" sounds like a dirty underwear issue.

-I didn't miss Bayless being draft at 9.5, did I?

-You can actually now purchase a mean streak online. Check your hotmail.

-10. Nets: Brook Lopez.

Sorry, having serious technical issues. Stand by.

-9. Bobcats: D.J. Augustin. He's short.

-8. Bucks: Joe Alexander.

Does anyone want Bayless? Donte Greene was my big candidate to slide.

it's too bad "White Chocolate" is already taken as a nickname, because it really makes sense for a kid whose dad worked in the industry. The chocolate industry.

SAS really can't do any better than "tell what it took to get there."

-If the Bobcats don't take Bayless, Larry Brown really is the devil and I'm going to break my own thumb.

-I really, really wish that Walsh had said "he's the kind of player who can bring a team to its knees." Get it? With his dirty nickname and all?

-7. Clippers: Eric Gordon. Nice for them, they thought they were going to have to move up to get him. Remember so long ago, when things like "Beasley and Marion go to the Clips" seemed almost real?

Another Bilas gem: "off the bounce."

Dudes, of course a lot of freshman are being picked. There's an age limit now. You can't go out of high school. And now teams are willing to pick freshman like they're picking high school players, i.e. be a little patient with initial imperfections.

-Why did SAS just say "they are sleeping on you" like a white person would? It may it sound really literal. Oh wait, now he sounds like he's talking to a child.

-Isn't there an Alice in Chains song about heroin called "The Rooster?" Did anyone happen to hear the "We Want Beasley" chant at the Pearl Jam concert at MSG last night?

-Jay Bilas hasn't been the same since Josh Smith turned out to be good. All the bile drained out of him and he's now just an "expert." Not a pundit.

-6. Knicks: Danilo Galinari. So wait, are we not allowed to mention Bargnani here? Galinari supposedly "has a toughness," which sounds a lot like that "mean streak" that Darko was supposed to have that set him apart from all other Euros.

-Stan Love actually showed Kevin footage of Kevin McHale. O.J. MAYO'S FAVORITE PLAYER IS EARL MONROE. Fall back.

-Wait, I'm sorry. You can improve your "Explosion Ability?" Is ESPN outsourcing their copy?

-5. Grizzlies: Kevin Love. "Not a great runner of the floor" This might devolve into a close reading of Jay's greatest.

-Not to break character, but how exactly do Beasley and Marion work together?

-Oh wait, Durant's there with Beasley.

-They're talking like the Sonics have anyone on their team other than Durant. Really, it's cool, just get someone else good out there.

-4. Sonics: Russell Westbrook.

Why is Kevin Durant there? Is he hoping he'll get drafted onto another team? (I know, too easy)

-3. Timberwolves: O.J. Mayo. I feel so naked. I was expecting at least three crazy things to have happened already.

Mayo kind of sounds like Kobe. A baby Kobe. How come only Shaq got "Baby Shaq?" I guess there was "Baby Jordan." But really, it should be as much of a stand-by as "poor man's _________"

-Big ups to my father, who wears that exact same outfit Beasley has on when he has to go to Capitol Hill.

-How come no one has pointed out yet that BASKETBALL SHOULD BE FUN?

-Kirk Hinrich just had his neck slit in the barn behind the United Center. You would've heard the gurgle, but Beasley's other beeper went off.

-2. Heat: Michael Beasley. Will told me to do that. Sorry I forgot to do it for Rose.

Did Beasley just have a beeper go off?

That shot of Mayo lurking the shadows was awfully diabolical.

"Arms that stretch beyond human limits." Jay Bilas, you are my lady love. Those arms probably reach the center of the earth, where if one of those fly-trap looking fish things got a plastic bag stuck in its stomach, he could reach in and save it. Pat Riley would leave it for dead.

-Hey, did anyone notice that I just deleted everything I've written so far? Thank god for keeping fifty windows open at once.

-Derrick Rose: Afraid of needles. Michael Beasley: Likes them for the hell of it.

-I know this site is nominally friendly with ESPN today, but Jay Bilas makes a mockery of talking out loud about basketball. He's a wind-up toy.

-Oh, by the way, there are no guards in this draft and too many uncertain big men. Everyone will be disappointed, unless they're in the top ten. That's why I full expect many teams to move up backward (if that makes sense) into the second round, so they can justifiably draft J.R. Giddens.

-Life blog is like "life partner." It means I'm gay with this blog and will give it all the effort I would rectal sex. Right?

-Early fashion returns: Everyone looks like shit. Except for Mayo, who has this whole fresh to def Carlton Banks thing going. With the solid gold frames. Eric Gordon looks like a penguin, which isn't doing much to make me think he's not fat—something Shanoff's been telling me all week. Speaking of which, he'll be Twittering all night, in case you want to read someone who actually watches college ball.

-It's amazing how invisible Derrick Rose has become. The debate was never about him vs. Beasley, it was whether or not Beasley was worth of bread and water. And every time he gets on camera, Beasley jumps in front of him and makes a joke about fast food.

-Let's get two things out of the way: Don't expect any single line as good as that Noah one from last year, and it will continue to bug me all night that there is an entire separate sky and ocean at the center of the earth. Fuck that.

-Thanks, Will. I'm really thrilled to have to follow all that.

Now that we've had our first trade, we're all set to have some fun. We are still crossing our fingers that the Knicks will take Big Cock Gallinari, and that Eric Gordon — BOO! ERIC GORDON! BOO! — drops all the way to the second round.

Anyway, our own Bethlehem Shoals from Free Darko will be live blogging the draft for us tonight. We remind you of last year's endeavor, in which he described Joakim Noah as looking like "EVERY SINGLE BATMAN VILLAIN ROLLED UP INTO ONE." Yep. That'll be fun.

1. Michael Beasley: Dude is a straight-up athlete. His size, strength, and Plastic Man-like arms allow him to score from inside (53 percent shooting) and out (38 percent from three). During his freshman year at Kansas, he put up points (26.2), pulled down boards (12.4) and showed great versatility (in the NBA, he'll be able to play either SF or PF). His 1:2.5 assist-to-turnover ratio is a concern (think Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph), but let's face it: You want Beasley scoring, not running the offense. His biggest drawbacks seem to be that he's "immature" and — instead of the 6'10" he was reported to be in college — he's actually about four feet tall.

2. Derrick Rose: This kid is a strong, speedy PG who can blow by his man and shoot from distance but tends to think pass-first (ala Deron Williams). The biggest positive, though, is that he's solid on offense and defense. He's supposed to be a great leader, too. The biggest negatives are his sometimes clunky jumper (think a slightly better version of Rajon Rondo) and his poor freethrow stroke (71 percent). Fun fact: Rose has a tattoo on his left biceps depicting a wizard holding a staff in one hand and a basketball in the other. The tat is below the word "Poohdini."

3. O.J. Mayo: He's a shooter who can also get to the hoop and finish. People say he's very strong and has an "NBA-ready body" (I assume this means he's capable of fathering multiple children with several different women). Mayo can light it up (20.7 PPG last season) and bomb from deep (41 percent three-point shooting), and he can also D-up (when he chooses to). Unfortunately, he tends to believe that "defense" is just "waiting to get back on offense." Furthermore, he doesn't have a mid-range jumper and he's not much of a passer (3.3 APG compared to 3.5 TOs). Reports say that he's an egomaniac...but what NBA player isn't?

4. Jerryd Bayless: Don't be concerned by the fact that there are some vowels missing from his first name. Jerryd can score (19.7 PPG) and shoot (41 percent from downtown), and his decision-making ain't bad (1.4:1 assist-to-turnover ratio). A lightning-quick first step combined with mad springs allow him shuttle past his defenders, which sure compliments his air game. Don't expect this kid to hit the glass, though. And his defense is a little lacking for somebody so athletic (only 1.0 SPG). Can get a little shot-happy from time to time.

5. Kevin Love: Everything inside my brain is screaming to drop Love out of the Top 5. He's a white banger who draws favorable comparisons to Bill Walton. Need I say more? He put up numbers (17.5 PPG and 10.6 RPG) while shooting lights out (56 percent), and is considered an "amazing passer" despite his 1.9:2.0 assist-to-turnover ratio. He has a complete offensive game — baby hooks, mid-range jumpers, long-distance bombs, fantastic shot fakes, etc. — and he's tough on the boards and his opponents. But he's slow, bound by gravity, lacks stamina and has already struggled with knee issues. All of which mean he could end up being more Ostertag than Walton.

6. Russell Westbrook: I'll admit it: Westbrook has seduced me with his athleticism. He can sprint and slash, and explodes off the ground like NASA built him. He's not a great ball-handler and can't hit consistently from distance, but he's an above average passer who has shown a knack for improvement. He has strong work ethic and an aching hunger to play defense. He has...I can't believe I'm saying it...incredible upside.

7. Danilo Gallinari: Hey, what would the Top 10 be without at least one Euro player? And the G-Man is your typical Euro-style baller: He can score, rebound and pass, moves without the ball, hits from mid-range and has the all-important "high basketball IQ" (read that: he's not fast or athletic, but he can still play). He's got some solid pro-lite experience playing in the Italian league — in 2006 he was nominated best Italian player of LegADue championship and he was recently awarded with the Euroleague 2007-08 Rising Star Trophy — but anybody described as "a better long-term prospect than Andrea Bargnani" makes me nervous. Very nervous.

8. Eric Gordon: Some say he's like Ben Gordon 2.0. Okay, I said that, but still. The kid's a jumping jack who can shoot from area code range and take it to the hoop thanks to his crazy speed and springs. He's also a rugged defender who knows how to play the game. Unfortunately — to continue the Ben Gordon comparison — he's small for a SG (6'3") but not really cut out for point duty (mediocre handles, questionable shot selection, erratic passing). His shooting got ugly after he suffered a wrist injury in January. But he should be fine now. Ideal role: Sparkplug off the bench who can put up points fast.

9. Brook Lopez: Normally, I'd never let somebody named "Brook" sneak into my Top 10. However, the dude is big (7'1") and beefy (258 lbs), and he has a wide range of post moves. Hell, he can even stroke the J from up to 18 feet out. He's reasonably athletic and has a solid mind for hoops, but he's a little substandard on the boards despite his size and athleticism (8.2 RPG last season). His shot selection is sometimes under suspicion of sucking.

10. D.J. Augustin: This kid can score (19.2 PPG last season) and serve the rock (5.8 APG with a 2.1:1.0 assist-to-turnover ratio). He can bomb from outside (38 percent three-point shooting) and use his speed and springs to get to the rim...and finish. Here's the problem: He's not even as tall as the 6'0" he's listed at (probably closer to 5'10"). So no matter how talented he is — and he's really, really talented — that kind of, ahem, shortcoming will make it hard for any team to play him consistently against bigger PGs (which is just about everybody).

11. Joe Alexander: This guy has skills (scores inside and out, can leap out of the gym, knows the game, quick on his feet) and pedigree (three seasons at West Virginia). BUT...he can't handle the rock, tends to streak (at best) from distance and is a so-so rebounder for somebody his size. Makes me think of Brad Lohaus, and that's not a good thing. But one scout claimed that Joe is "obsessed" with improving and reminds him more of Tom Chambers. Maybe he's somewhere in between, more of a Brad Chambers, perhaps.

12. Brandon Rush: Rush is athletic, tall for a SG (6'7") and can flat-out light it up from Three Land (43 percent over three seasons at Kansas). Rush also rebounds well for a guard. He's strong, long-armed and versatile enough to play spot duty at SF. Three years at college means he's (probably) more mature and ready to contribute than most of the one-and-dones. The digs are that his handles are broke and he can't create his own shot. He's also had a history of ACL woes and he can't straighten his arm because of a childhood elbow injury.

13. Kosta Koufos: Typically, I don't trust big men from Ohio State. Remember that Greg Oden guy who went number one last year? What a bust! But it's hard to pass up a seven-footer with the wingspan of a pterodactyl who can score inside, shoot from outside and throw his weight around. He had a decent freshman year and averaged 26.5 points, 13 rebounds, 3.5 blocks and 1.4 steals in the U-18 European Championships this summer. That's the good news. The bad news is he's a sluggish defender who tends to disappear when he's not playing well...and his toughness has already come under question. Might be Darko Milicic 2.0.

14. Anthony Randolph: Athletic. Go-Go Gadget Arms. Wacko springs. Offense from the low post to mid-range. Fast. A solid rebounder and shot blocker. So why's he here instead of up there? Dude is a freaking twig: He's 6'10" but only 197 pounds. It's time to invest Beefcake 2000, otherwise a strong wind might blow this kid and all his potential far, far away.

15. Darrell Arthur: Mr. Arthur can streak from end line to end line, and his length and superior athletic ability allow him to score and defend against both SFs and PFs. He can score with his back to the basket and hit from the middle of the floor, and he'll even crash the boards. The not-so-upside is that he's a bit puny for the forward position, lacks three-point range and has been labeled a "black hole." Not good. Oh, and he tends to zone out. He's gotten this far on potential. It'll be interesting to see if he realizes it.

Also? Per his own personal website, it appears his nickname is "Big Cock." SOS trolled Gallinari's website equipped with a handy Google Italian-to-English translator to decipher what in the name of flaming-rooster-heads his legions of fans are talking about. Apparently, they love the cock:

Yesterday evening I was lucky enough to be ... fantastic game ... and as always great cock!

Written by Francy May 19 08 @ 20:23

great guys! grande vuckevic, super-booker e mitico gallo!! vuckevic great, super-booker and mythical cock!
l'atmosfera al forum era spettacolare! the atmosphere at the forum was spectacular! grazie! thank you! e adesso continuate così!!! and now continue so!

Written by chelseadaggers May 13 08 @ 17:28

27 points big cock !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scritto da walter_94 il 19 maggio 08 @ 17:24 Written by walter_94 May 19 08 @ 17:24 (Link)

Even though Gallinari seems ready to take over the NBA, the only question is — is the NBA ready for Big Cock?

Danilo Gallinari Shall Now Be Known As Big Cock [Simon on Sports]
Danilo Gallinari [Danilo Gallinari's Website]

• Break out the bleach. The countdown to Wimbledon is on (we're under 13 hours!) and the eyes are the players sitting atop the bracket. Roger Federer has won the tournament an absurd six consecutive times, but he's had trouble holding off Raphael Nadal of late. The women's field is topped by Ana Ivanovich, who in addition to being amazing is quite capable on the grass.

• Break out the pinstripes. The NBA Draft/Fashion Show is going down on Thursday night in New York and everybody's waiting to see if Bill Walker will wet himself while waiting in the crowd for the second round to begin. Of course there will be other memorable happenings, like the shot of a puzzled Knicks fan wondering why they took that Italian kid instead of Mayo. Hopefully the Wizards will even have a big man with a pulse and the ability to rebound fall into their laps. That would be nice. Hell, I might even read the SG's diary. Is that in live blog form these days?

• Break out the Pacman. Manny Pacquiao, Ring Magazine's new pound-for-pound champion, faces a tough test from American David Diaz on Saturday night in Vegas for the latter's lightweight title. Pacman is an all action fighter who hasn't been stopped in nine years and Diaz is a former Olympian, and a three time Golden Gloves national champion. He decisioned, and retired, the legendary Erik Morales to win the WBC belt. Pacman has always been considered among the best in the world, and now he'll face a true lightweight, and a champion at that.

It has been a whirlwind 365 days for the Bulls, who went from Expected NBA Title Contender to Team That's Firing Its Coach And Missing The Playoffs to Team That's Using Its Supposed Trade Chips Not For Kobe Bryant But Drew Gooden to ... winning the lottery. The choices are local guy Derrick Rose and muscular Michael Beasley; Blog-A-Bull is in favor of Rose.

The Heat will take whoever is left over, and then the Timberwolves, despite their special teddy bear, didn't end up with the top pick. Honestly, we thought Fred Hoiberg was gonna strangle that bear.

We're gonna talk about the Knicks' sixth pick a little later. But Chad Ford already has us very tickled.

Before you start laughing, just remember the Mrs. McGee was a former star herself, winning college championships at USC and playing in the WNBA, as well as coaching there. Now you may resume laughing, as here's what she wrote about her baby boy:

He blockshots [sic] like Tyson Chandler and has a 33 inch vertical jump and dunks like Micheal Jordan, as a seven-footer. He can face the basket and create off the dribble like an athletic Dirk. The intriguing question that baffles scounts [sic] is not is he a pro? But how good of a pro will he become.

2008 Draft Profile - JaVale McGee [MyNBADraft.com]

He's already causing a stir on Bulls boards, and some Bulls fans seem resigned to figuring out how to root for him. We still prefer what Shoals said last night in the live blog: ""Noah... YOU LOOK LIKE EVERY SINGLE BATMAN VILLAIN ROLLED UP INTO ONE."

Your Newest Chicago Bull [Blog A Bull]
How Can You Hate This Man? [Tremendous Upside Potential]

(UPDATE: Here's the tale of hanging out with the hecklers last night. Wow.)

That said, some thoughts. Because our opinions are worth nothing, which makes them as valuable as everyone else's today.

• We found ourselves surprised that so many in Seattle were against the Ray Allen to the Celtics trade. You've got Kevin Durant for the next so-many years; why have a guy like Allen hanging around? Gotta be good for Allen, too; lots more threesome opportunities in Boston. (Link NSFW)

• We always find the trades on draft night more fun anyway. Zack Randolph to the Knicks? That's a lot more enjoyable to play with than Jared Dudley in Charlotte.

• Honestly, it was mostly just a night for the Pacific Northwest. We'd totally move there if they had a subway.

That said, the NBA Draft is less than an hour away, and if you're not just watching it for the suits, you should still find plenty to tickle your proverbial fancy. And we are extremely honored to have Bethlehem Shoals of Free Darko here to take you through all the pageantry. He'll be checking in just before the draft begins, and after the jump, to be your spiritual guide through the land of short people reading the names of tall people off index cards. Have fun, folks, and we wish you well.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--'

Okay, I'm yawning, and the second round is drifting far into the night. Will keep my eyes open for any trades, but this is pretty much it for me. It's been wonderful and I hope the feeling lasts forever.

He was always too bright, too gay (NOT IN THAT WAY!) for Philly. The Finn will end up with Portland. He and Sergio Rodriguez are a pair of point guard quiz questions that will keep us smiling for years. Even if Jarrett Jack is their starter until 2032.

And so, Big Baby finds a home in Boston. I know they didn't get Oden or Durant, but dudes, your team comes out of tonight looking kind of hilarious. Pierce. Allen. Jefferson. Rondo. Gomes. Tony Allen. Big Baby. That's not perfection, or an eye on the prize, but if they can fit togeher on the same floor it will make a great ensemble drama.

OKAY. There's something. Jason Richardson for the rights to Brandan Wright. Of course, it was something none of us heard about, and really makes the landscape a little uneasy. Richardson makes a lot, and the Warriors wanted to get rid of it. But he was a big part of that team. Wright is tall and everything, and SAS flipped out, but the Cats do have size already. The real question is what this says for Gerald Wallace. Personally, I think Wallace and Richardson could co-exist just fine, but that much firepower and dynamism would be a major, major change in philosophy for Charlotte. See, I know a thing or two.

Taking a breather, will chime in when the second round gets hot and heavy.

That Finnish guy. Everybody's love bird. That's like the most uplifting last pick of the first round I can imagine. Big Baby would just remind me how far he has fallen. WHY BIG BABY, WHY!!?!?!?!?!?

FREE BIG BABY!!!!!!!!

Hey, anyone looking to relive some of this draft's highlights should check out The Blog of Hilarity. And yes, I'm talking about SAS and Spike's reactions.

Finally, Splitter released.

Quin Snyder. . . you may remember him from once upon doing commentary on the draft telecast.

So no more "taking a page from San Antonio's playbook". . . he's going to play interchangable 6'9" guys? That sounds a lot like the Warriors, but Ridnour is no Davis. Regardless, I'm glad I'll get one year of Sonics before that team relocates to some city that doesn't deserve basketball.

HA! Who cares if Aaron Brooks was drafted too high—there's an international situation going on.

This "taking a page from San Antonio's playbook" refrain is bugging me. What exactly does it me? I think once it referred to building a team around a dominant big man. But here, it was just. . . STOP THE PRESSES. PORTLAND WAR ROOM. That is seriously where it's at tonight. They are all mainlining ink and giving each other rope burns. That's how deep into celebration they are at this point!

Just in case anyone's forgotten, the People's Republic of China is turning all its diplomatic might against Milwaukee as we speak.

Does Spike work for the Knicks in some capacity? Is it a slight that he doesn't?

That was kind of strange. . . because Zeke pulled off that blockbuster before the Knicks picked, the crowd had already spent itself. That wasn't your usual "Knicks fans on draft night" rumble. Even SAS seems, well, concise and rational. WTF?

Okay, that's the quote of the night. Rod Thorn on Sean Williams: "he had over a 1200 on his college board so he obviously has a brain."

SAS clearly understands another man's tears. Is it because he too cries, or because he likes to bring them on?

Fuck it, I'll say it: Crittendon is the SOTD.

What Jim Grey is really saying: "WHY HAVE YOU DENIED US THE NIGHT OF EXCITEMENT OUR VIEWERS EXPECTED!??!?!?!?!" Because, you know, that makes Grey look like nothing but a gossip. Whereas with Chad Ford, at least at some point the picks have to happen.

Mitch Kupchak has apparently been hanging out with Malkovich a little too much.

Here's one to chew on: Will Tiago Splitter or Marc Gasol go first?

Haier is owned by a relative of Stern's right?

Dick VItale, sexualized again. Please stop.

It's a little-known fact that I think Javaris Crittendon is rad. Didn't they take Farmar last year?

Food that the draft makes me want: cornbread, bananas foster, seltzer. It's kind of like pregnancy, but with SAS and Spike Lee waiting in the wings.

See, that's disappointing to me. Shouldn't the Warriors have taken someone at least mildly insane, spazzy, troubled, or disastrous?

Williams and Krstec. Randolph and Curry. Not the same as Oden and Durant going to the Northwest, at least we won't have to stare down our noses at NY/NJ anymore.

IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES THE EAST JUST GOT LEGIT.

That might be the most content I've ever seen Spike Lee. Randolph will devour the East. DEVOUR. DEVOUR IT. I am trying to shout down SAS if you can't tell.

The Nick Young doc is pretty serious, too. He and Caron are going to form quite a tandem of authenticity.

That is MONEY. Young to the Wizards is serious, and basically means they can score even more, play even less defense, and be that much dearer to my heart.

People, I am feeling some serious pressure to come up with new catch-phrases. Instead, I'm just being all reflective. Sorry about that.

How great would it have been for Stu to have asked "what is Rodney Stuckey?"

Agent Steinz is on location, and he's got the Cheez Doodles guy encountering Jeff Green.

Thornton to the Clippers. Isn't it weird now that the Clippers have turned into a veteran team, and that someone like Thornton might be out of place?

Julian Wright is talking like everyone's nephew.

The Hornets are obviously doing something right, because all they seem to do is get better and better.

Those new Hawks uniforms are way too storm trooper.

Seriously, I feel all weird now that the Hawks have given up their dreams of . . . well, whatever it was, it was some kind of utopia. Now I'm thinking that Iguodala, Young, and a couple of other insane wings (Wright, maybe?) could make the Sixers into their heir apparent.

Scoop from over at SLAM: Randolph, Dickau and Jones for Francis and Frye. Lang hears it's done.

Okay, I'm feeling a second wind. I'm beginning to think I might not know what's about to happen, and some of my favorites are still on the board. Good thing all those big men are gone—bring on Thorton, Thaddeus, Crittendon, et al. Seriously, I'm with you all.

Nice to hear someone take issue with a pick, even if it was SAS.

Spencer, you can't improve on your athleticism.

I think these are updating slow. . . hmmm. . .

So it looks like Phoenix isn't sneaking into the top 10 after all. That kind of sucks.

That is the first time anyone's ever used the dimunitive on Ben Wallace. And I suspect it will be the last.

I am so infernally pleased that Charlotte didn't go with Noah. I am Tito Horford, waving my flag, alone in a hotel even if no one else can see me.

My girlfriend just asked me who Seattle got. Apparently, she thought that the draft counted down. She claims this could work if the whole league ran on "politeness."

I dare someone to start ranking the relative hotness of the draftees' moms. If that makes you squeamish, try using the slightly more polite "handsome." So yeah, anyone who wants to weigh in on handsome NBA moms, you have my blessings.

Noah. . YOU LOOK LIKE EVERY SINGLE BATMAN VILLAIN ROLLED UP INTO ONE.

Wait, Corey Brewer's father lost his foot in a diving accident? Didn't Ronnie Brewer's arm get broken and re-set badly at a young age?

Man, I hate deep drafts. Nothing's surprising because there's no such thing as a crazy pick.

The funny thing is that, while Yi can't speak English, you can tell he's still trying to sound kind of down.

You know, the way I hate Hawes is different from the way I hate Noah. Noah's just like some guy in my building who makes me cringe, while Hawes was put on earth to annoy me.

I really wonder if I'm being enough of an assertive warrior on this live-blog.

Is Seattle pulling a Portland? Like last year, how Portland somehow came out of the draft with an entirely new, young, revitalized team.

Dudes, Memphis will be something next season. Not saying they'll be good, but Conley throwing it to Gasol, Gay, Warrick, Miller. . . they were scoring 140 last season with no point guard. This is worth getting excited about.

I am still monumentally pleased by TIto Horford's flag-waving episode.

Like I said, no surprise. Horford's mighty biceps head to Atlanta, which hopefully means the end of the Shelden Movement. Wait, how did I not know Horford was Dominican?

That can't be right. Durant averaged more points per game last season than any other freshman in history? If it's right, then college basketball sucks worse than I already thought it did.

Durant has a hunching problem. When those wings come in, his hunch comes up.

You all need to get with Chez Shanoff at some point this evening. Head Chick in Charge from Leave the Man Alone is focusing exclusively on the fashion thang.

Was that replay of Oden and ma duke in slo-mo? It should have been.

Notice that Stern, crafty troll that he is, said "Greg" like "Kgraig." For the international audiences, and for a "k" sound that made us wonder for a second.

Okay, back to business. These high fives in Portland CENTCOM are worse than the ones Yao's family exchanged when he got chosen.

My bad. Noah by a country mile.

QUESTION FOR ALL: does a single lottery pick in this year's draft have the All-American Rejects in his iPod? Spencer Hawes would be too easy.

Wait, Michael Jordan has the authority to make deals in Charlotte? Did everyone know that but me?

Noah repped his city by dressing like an eighty year-old woman?

Conley hates going out on the town with Oden.

One summer, I read so much scouting bullshit leading into the draft that I started to wonder if I could be drafted. Or at least think about if I was sinewy, or had decent lateral movement. That they keep these frames going during the commercials has me thinking that way about the folks applying for loans.

In a suit, Greg Oden looks like a black Lyndon Baines Johnson.

Did I just bother to point out that SAS said something moronic? That's moronic.

Has anyone else noticed that, over the last few days, Yi has become the secret hero of this whole thing? And that whole Chinese investors in the Hawks conspiracy. . . does Ira Newble know about this? Wasn't he on the Hawks once? Would he give that money back if Atlanta sells its soul to the Far East?

Okay, the draft seems to be on finally. SAS is a moron if he thinks this isn't up to the standards of '03.

"Would put the Celtics into a different realm of perception among their fans." That doesn't even need a joke after it.

As with all things in his life, Ray Allen's availability has been super-stealth this month. Him to Boston wouldn't be so bad for everyone involved.

Note to Dicky V: YOU DO NOT HAVE A SEX DRIVE. Or at least most of us would rather think you don't. Stop me before I make another Muppets comparison.

Can I just say, right here right now, that I hate Spencer Hawes. I feel like he was in last year's draft, and will be in next year's, too. He is like one of those things on Charmed, but taller.

Seriously, what is Dicky V going to say tonight? He can't just tell us that college players are superior to high schoolers and international thuds.

Jim Gray is so Bert it's not even funny. His head has the dimensions of those jerseys hanging in the background.

Oh, and if you haven't heard, there's a hot rumor that ESPN's leaked the top four already. Oden, Durant, Horford, Conley. So you've got at least an hour before suspense beckons.

Shoals checking in. I am sitting in a hotel room, finishing a cheese steak and trying to figure out which Worldwide Leader the draft is on. They've got coverage on at least four of them.

"It will be a light atmosphere," said Dunbar assistant coach Albert Powell, who has helped Cook through the draft process. "There will be finger food, soft drinks and a big-screen TV."

If you're in Dayton, frankly, you have no excuse not to go to this. If anybody goes and takes pictures, we'll totally run it tomorrow. Particularly if he's crying.

You Can Party With Daequan [Winning The Turnover Battle]

For years, everyone's been talking about definitive NBA Draft drinking games, including Simmons himself. Today, Ballhype eliminates the middle man and just creates the Bill Simmons Draft Diary Drinking Game.

The Sports Guy references Curtis Borchardt, Chris Mihm, Chris Kaman, and/or Raef Lafrentz when Spencer Hawes gets picked. Take a drink.
The Sports Guy's dog Dooze does something hilarious which presciently foretells some draft prospect's future. Take a drink.
The Sports Guy ridicules ESPN's choice of "unhip" on-air music while toggling through songs by The Killers and The Bravery in his iTunes library. Take two sips.

Seriously, when you combine this with the actual NBA Draft Drinking Game, there's really no need to be sober for the next week.

The Bill Simmons NBA Draft Diary Drinking Game [Ballhype]

To remind: The NBA Draft is three days away. To make sure you're appropriately fired up, we bring you this brilliant blast from the past, the fantastic Stephen A. Smith heckling video from last year's NBA Draft. HE LOVES THESE CHEESY DOODLES.

God, we hope these guys come back this year.

I Fear I Am Slowly Becoming Stephen A. Smith [Cake Rocks The Party]

EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT!

And, as it turns out, he — and by "he," we mean "the Chinese government" — is exerting considerable influence on which team drafts him. Rumors persist that he's going to insist on playing for a team in a big market with a "considerable Chinese population." He refused a workout with the Bucks at No. 6, and he better hope the Celtics take him. Could Yi drop out of the draft if he's not taken by the right team? We love the idea of him pulling a big timer power move; he's ready for American athletics already!

Proceed With Caution [Winning The Turnover Battle]

Every year, we feel bad for the poor souls who declare themselves eligible for the Draft with eligibility remaining and then aren't drafted; their careers are over — hope you like Spain! — when they didn't have to be. The Feed looks at this year's likely candidates.

R. Earl Johnson, Clinton Junior College
The first time the name Robert Earl Johnson ever crossed our eyes was when we took a look at the list of early entry candidates for the NBA Draft. He only played 10 games with Clinton and averaged 11 points in those contests, hardly numbers that will set NBA team hearts aflutter. For further analysis we turn to Gary Parrish of CBS Sportsline - "I've heard of Robert Johnson and Robert Earl Keen. But I've never heard of Robert Earl Johnson, which probably isn't a good sign."

You thought Brady Quinn's draft experience was bad? Please.

We're Not Gonna Make It [The Feed]

Word on the Street:

-According to multiple sources, both from the NBA and close to the player himself, Kevin Durant will be announcing in a press conference mid next week that he will be putting his name in the draft.

Not terribly concrete, I know... but for now, it'll have to do. I'm electing to trust DraftExpress.com on this one, mainly because they have a very handsome website and because it doesn't make sense for Kevin Durant to do anything but declare for the NBA Draft.

In related news, on today's NBA schedule, the Grizzlies play the Magic, the Celtics play the Pacers, and the Bucks play the Knicks. Don't kill yourself preparing for these, Magic, Pacers, and Knicks. I have a feeling you'll do OK.

Portsmouth Invitational Tournament: Day Three [DraftExpress]

No, we couldn't possibly be more overjoyed by the fact that Deron Williams and Dee Brown, the linchpins of the most fun college basketball team we've ever seen, will be reunited on the Utah Jazz, our new favorite team, totally, go Mormons! They'll team with the swinging Andrei Kirilenko to make fellow Illini fans remember the good old days all over again.

Honestly? We fully expect to see Bill Murray in Jazz garb by October.

Free Drafto As It Happened [Free Darko]
Brown, Augustine True To Personalities [Decatur Herald-Review]
Brown, Williams Together Again [St. Lake Tribune]

(Oh, and if Dee doesn't make the 12-man roster, forget you ever read this.)

(UPDATE: This Sports Bloggers Live from the Draft absolutely must be heard.)

The raucousness of the crowds at the NBA and NFL Drafts in New York are somewhat legend, and last night, from many accounts, nobody was hit harder than ESPN's resident screamer Stephen A. Smith. And now it's all captured on video. Stephen A. is hit repeatedly in this video, for his Cheese Doodles, his bowel movements and the IMPORTANCE OF EVERYTHING HE HAS TO SAY.

This is seven minutes of brutality, a man being heckled mercilessly during an otherwise quiet second round of the NBA Draft. This is what happens when you are a TV person.

• "And with the 20th pick in the 2006 NBA Draft, the New York Knickerbockers select Renaldo Balkman, SF out of South Carolina. Projected as a late second rounder, possibly even undrafted, but Zeke spent the #20 on him. Darius Miles isn't even that good! And we got the POOR MAN'S Darius Miles? At least his name kinda sounds like that of a former Knick (Rolando Blackmon). Ok, just shoot me and get it over with." [Father Knickerbocker]

• "It only gets stranger for the Knicks. They drafted pedestrian point Mardy Collins out of Temple at #29 which isn't bad on it's own but is completely bizarre since, if you wanted a point guard, guys like Marcus Williams, Kyle Lowry, Rajon Rondo, and Jordan Farmar, were available when the Knicks took Renaldo Balkman at #20 instead." [HoopsJunkie]

• "Say it with me now ... who's Renaldo Balkman?" [TrueHoop]

• "As long time readers of the blog know, I LOVE Balkman and think he will be a good NBA player. But picking him at 20 is ridiculous. Balkman, when not playing Humpty Hump's body double, seemed to have a little bit of support from Spike Lee who kept insisting he was a "sleeper", but I dont even know if Spike believed it. You know that no one believes in you when the considerate Jay Bilas continually makes fun of you. Long live the Humpty Hump!!!!" [KentuckySportsRadio]

• "So my beloved but troubled Knicks choose Renaldo Balkman in tonight's NBA Draft. Wait ... didn't we already have that guy ten years ago?" [Sugar, Mr. Poon?]

• "I am officially done!" — commenter on [Knickerblogger.Net]

Isiah Thomas' Secret Genius [Deadspin]

(Oh, and Simmons obviously had a lot of fun with this too.)

We're going to look at several fun storylines from the NBA Draft today, but we're gonna start with Isiah. The Knicks GM/coach, for all the mockery, has always done well for himself in the draft, which all went out the window when the world went slack jawed once he drafted South Carolina's Renaldo Balkman with the first-round pick. Balkman was most famous for, uh, having two awesome games in the NIT last year. In his hometown paper, his agented was quoted, directly after the pick, as saying, "Everybody in the world was shocked. Sure, some people said, 'Who's Renaldo Balkman?'" Now that's agenting! Balkman, himself, was unavailable to comment. On his draft night.

The fans at MSG were booing, of course, but Isiah said — in a claim that seems unique to his brain — that the Suns were planning to trade up to pick Balkman. To which the Suns surely replied, "Who's Renaldo Balkman?" Isiah describes him as a "Rodman/Artest type." Awesome!

Balkman Picked In First Round [TheState]
Knicks Take Mystery Man [New York Daily News]
True Hoop

Obviously, the NBA Draft is perfect for the Internet, and even though we're going to be otherwise occupied, we're going to sneak away and check out some of the great live-blogs following the proceedings.

True Hoop has to be everyone's first stop; they're going to be killing it all night and probably deep into the morning. Free Darko will have some sort of madness, and Awful Announcing will be looking at the TV side of matters. Also expect The Association to pipe up. And if you're looking for access, Mr. Irrelevant is on the scene, along with the esteemed J.E. Skeets. The Hawks are blogging live from the war room. And say what you will about the guy, but Bill Simmons' Running Draft Diary has been a staple of this Web world since before most of us knew how to use HTML.

So yeah, should be a fun night: Now, about Dee Brown ...

(By the way, someone brought up earlier today that they didn't know of any NBA Draft drinking games, and we couldn't find any on the Web either. Anybody want to come up with some?)

(UPDATE: OK, so maybe we forgot to read the Quickie this morning.)

As we prepare for the NBA Draft tonight, we encourage you to keep in mind that, well, nobody knows anything. Need proof? This pre-2003 draft video looking at the "unlimited potential" of Darko Milicic.

Yes, we know he played better last year after the trade ... but still.

To kick off your draft preview business, though, you are hearby instructed to head directly to True Hoop, which is absolutely destroying today. They've got huge previews up of unconventional picks like Mardy Collins, Dan Grunfeld and even one from us, about our boy Dee Brown. True Hoop was invented for days like this, and if you're into the NBA Draft, it's where you should be spending your day today. (Though come back by here and say hi, OK?)

TrueHoop Draft Day [True Hoop]
Adam Morrison, The New Face Of Marxism [The Realests]

(By the way, it's also Russ Granik's last night too. Sad.)

We have two favorites. First is the description of possible No. 1 pick Andrea Bargnani, who has been compared to Dirk Nowitzki but comes across more like Marcel Lampe (or "Darko Jr.") here. The other: Why, J.J. Redick, obviously.

Where Are They Now? J.J. Redick. The former Blue Devil had set an ACC record for points during his four year college career, and after being drafted by the Houston Rockets in 2006, was unable to produce consistently. The Rockets hoped that Redick would act as insurance in case Tracy McGrady was unable to recover from the injuries he suffered in the 2005-6 season, but Redick couldn't shoot and McGrady couldn't play a game without clutching at his back. J.J. was a fantastic scorer in college, but that can be attributed to the fact he wasn't facing the longer, quicker players in the NBA. Without the ability to score at a high level, he simply faded away. Redick, who now works at Home Depot, did not return a call.

Oh, like you wouldn't hang out at that Home Depot all the time.

What They'll Be Saying About The Class Of 2006, Part I [The City]

(By the way, we want to emphasize this: We do not hate Duke. We've been accused of this, and it's not true. It's just impossible not to make fun of JJ Redick, Coach K, Chris Collins, WoJo, Christian Laettner ... oh, we don't need to go on, do we?)

It's A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker, exclusively here. Email him all your fan mail.

JJ Redick's Fall Out

Trying to stifle a cackle after former Duke guard JJ Redick was arrested for drunk driving is tough to do. But after the Schadenfreude party is over, there's still the requisite bone-picking that needs to be done. I've put on my special handicapping helmet — even though they're not required in Pennsylvania — to calculate the odds on JJ's DUI fallout.

After the jump, the odds.

Prop The Collar

Odds on still being top 10 NBA pick: 2/1

Odds on Redick going to rehab before NBA season: 20/1

Odds on Redick going to rehab in lifetime: 5/1

Odds on Redick going on lam with Dmitri Young while in rehab: 10/1

Odds on Redick falling in love with Dmitri Young while on lam: EVEN

Odds Kanye West blaring on Redick's iPod before drunken U-turn: 3/1

Odds James Blunt blaring on Redick's iPod before drunken U-turn: 1/5

Odds "glassy eyes" cops saw during arrest were all beer-induced: 25/1

Odds Redick loses lucrative shoe endorsement: 2/1

Odds Redick loses lucrative sports bra endorsement: 4/1

Fun With The Over Under

Draft position: 8

Number of times he's recited apology to "friends, family, Duke University, and fans" in bathroom mirror: 12

Number of times JJ Redick's been drunk in his life: 3 1/2

Number of times he's popped ...
... collar: 200
... 1/2 collar: 4
... Duke cheerleader's cherry: 1
... Duke lacrosse player's cherry: 3

Avg. PPG in NBA next season: .11