• the mjd smorgasbord

    The Dregs Of Week 17

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday, except for today, when it runs on Wednesday. Do enjoy.

    • You know what's on at 1:00 today? Loads and loads of meaningless bullshit. New Orleans is the only team with something to play for, and there's only an outside chance that that one will mean something. Today is a good day for a nap.

    • But then you'd miss out on CBS's heavy promotion of this new game show, where people go on TV, get hooked up to a polygraph, and are forced to expose their deep, dark secrets. "If you were sure you wouldn't be caught, would you cheat on your wife?" Let me save you the trouble, sweetheart ... yeah, he would. And now that we've broken up a happy marriage and destroyed two lives, we'll be right back after a word from our sponsors! More »

    1:35 PM on Wed Jan 2 2008
    By Leitch
    8,399 views, 45 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    The NFL From The Ice Planet Hoth

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • By 12:45, two unusual things have happened today. 1) I got a phone call from my brother who just had a cigarette with Jim Leyland outside of Heinz Field ... and 2) Jason Krause is on the Sunday NFL Countdown set, running some kind of route against Mike Ditka.

    • One disappointing thing that has not yet happened today: Mike Ditka did not forget where he was and crack Jason Krause's head open. I'm going to write Ditka a letter and tell him that Krause stole money from the NFLPA Pension Fund to buy baseball cards. More »

    3:02 PM on Mon Dec 17 2007
    By Leitch
    10,495 views, 80 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    There Is Only One Philip Rivers

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • I'm sitting at the bar, alone for the early games. It's just me and a guy who has never tended bar before in his life. Muff Stubble Girl walks by and I do an active search for downstairs stubble. None is found. She is a master with the razor. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Dec 10 2007
    By Leitch
    14,616 views, 83 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    Praising Thigpen, Blasting Gibbs

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • There's a sign at the little Sean Taylor fan memorial that has a picture of Taylor with the words, "GIVE TOM LANDRY HELL" next to it. Assuming that the signmaker believes Sean Taylor's in heaven (and I've got to think that differing viewpoints would be rare in DC right now) ... can you do that? If you're in heaven, can you give someone hell? I've got to think that's frowned upon up there. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Dec 3 2007
    By Leitch
    11,009 views, 58 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    The Stent Wars Are Heating Up

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • Because I'm running a little bit late, I missed "Takin' it to the House with Jason Krause." Now, I'm probably going to go all day without wanting to kick a 10-year-old in the balls.

    • Glancing over the schedule, it jumps out at me that no good teams are playing this afternoon. At least, none of the best teams in the league ... the Patriots take place in the ritual Sunday Night Assrape tonight against the Eagles, the Colts, Cowboys and Packers played on Thursday and the Steelers play on Monday night. I guess I can settle for the Browns, Giants and Jags. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Nov 26 2007
    By Leitch
    9,573 views, 60 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    The People You Meet At The Sports Bar

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • The waitress this week is cute enough, but wearing a Brady Quinn jersey. I'm not sure what to make of that. Maybe she's from Cleveland, maybe she thinks he's really cute, I don't know. I just hope I'm here when she starts grabbing dicks.

    • I'm pretty sure this is an accident ... but I can see four games, but I'm getting audio from the Baltimore/Cleveland game, which is not one of the four games I can see. Every time Ian Eagle raises his voice, I look around to see what's happening, and all I see are people standing around. This is going to drive me fucking insane. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Nov 19 2007
    By Leitch
    15,447 views, 114 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    The NFC Is Delicious And Nutritional

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • Is it me, or does it seem like almost every single week, at least 70 percent of the games on the NFC schedule are unclean anus? There are so many teams in the NFL this year that are either bad, or not quite bad but still unpleasant to watch ... it seems like it's almost impossible to have a good slate of games.

    • Fortunately, in a place like this, where you can watch seven TVs, you only need one or two of them to turn out decent, and you can be thoroughly entertained. The NFL has a nice little system that way. Two decent games, and maybe one remarkable individual performance, and that's all anyone will talk about. No one will even remember all the shit vs. shit, vomit vs. shit, and non-shit vs. shit matchups. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Nov 12 2007
    By Leitch
    10,342 views, 48 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    Ground Bacon Burgers For All

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.
    • The waitress this week is Muff Stubble Girl, who you might recall from past Smorgasbords this season. I shouldn't call her that anymore ... one, because it's not very nice, and two, because her pants are at a reasonably normal level these days. It's getting cold outside, she has to. She's actually dressed pretty conservatively today, by her standards ... don't get me wrong, it's still pretty slutty by any sort of conventional standard, but for her, she's postively nunnish. More »

    2:37 PM on Mon Nov 5 2007
    By Unsilent Majority
    12,624 views, 65 comments

    Latest by Unamerican: @CJ: I don't care for bacon burgers...too crumbly, too dry. Have a go at a 'Sexy Death' burger instead more »

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    Nothing Better Than Sports Bar Trash Talk

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • For some reason, one of the 70-inch TVs is set on double-zoom mode, and I'm getting an outstanding look at Emmitt Smith's graying stubble and Mike Ditka's dental work. Mike, next time you see your dentist, please congratulate him/her on the fantastic work they did on your maxillary lateral incisor. You can't even tell that you once bit into a lead pipe because you thought it was a popsicle.

    • Late-breaking news from Rachel Nichols on the Dolphins/Giants game in London ... Jay Feely has Plaxico Burress in his fantasy line-up. Please adjust your ... actually, I have no idea what you're supposed to do with that information. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Oct 29 2007
    By Leitch
    10,149 views, 61 comments

  • the mjd smorgasbord

    Who Doesn't Love Joey Porter?

    The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy.

    • Awesome ... someone brought their baby to the bar with them today. I'm going to estimate the age of the child at 2, though I'm terrible at gauging such things. You know what I am good at, though? Teaching children profanity. I've sold instructional videos on how to get 18-month-old babies to say things like, "Toss my salad, dickwad." I'm great with kids, what can I say? Today, I'm making it my mission to have this child's first words be "Tom Brady is an asshole." I think the parents deserve it. A baby in a sports bar on a Sunday ... is nothing sacred?

    • Kenny Mayne gets some chuckles for his Countdown segment with Marshawn Lynch, detailing a typical night out on the town for Lynch in Buffalo: Applebee's, then Dave & Busters, and then, if it's a really crazy night ... back to Applebee's. This has to make the Bills a very attractive option for potential free agents. More »

    2:20 PM on Mon Oct 22 2007
    By Leitch
    12,328 views, 66 comments

  • 1
  • 2
  • next »

  • 1-10 of 16 for "The MJD Smorgasbord"