Deadspin
This one... is for the ladies.
We got a tip this morning from a guy who says he was out with a couple of ladyfriends last night when they encountered Steelers kicker Jeff Reed. The story goes that Reed was hitting on these two ladies, was eventually shot down, and then Jeff Reed did what any of us would have done: he stood in front of a mirror, pushed his pants down, and took a picture of the top of his junk.
He then sent said picture to the ladies to let them know what they were missing out on. Since then, the ladies went into a deep depression, began to cut their arms, and are now both currently having sex with David Akers.
Now, I can't promise you that any of that is true. I can't even tell you for sure that that's Jeff Reed. If it is, though... I seriously doubt that Jeff Reed's the type of guy who will be the least bit embarrassed about this.
I've always thought Reed was a pretty good kicker, and I'll tell you what—that guy knows his way around a razor, too.
Comments
That's not the deadspin Christmas present I was looking for.
David Akers is cheating on Christ?
Couldn't you get fired for posting this kind of story?
He forgot step one, "cut a hole in a box".
I thought that the Patriots played in Gillette Stadium?
and I'm reading this post while listening to Michael Strahan and Jared Fogel argue about, "less fat!" More Meat!" ahahaha- MORE MEAT!"
I'm going to drown myself in egg nog now, if egg nog means bathtub gin drank from a mason jar, which I'm pretty sure it does.
Can't we turn off the gay posts like we can on Fleshbot?
Uh... I'd like a filter for the "Things You Can't Un-See" tag. Thanks.
<obvious>Short and to the right</obvious>
Why am I not shocked to see any of you online today?
"Nightmare fuel"?
Well...let's see here: I'm in Rockford, IL for Christmas and I've got two options right now, at least until I start drinking: Hang out with my family or hang out on Deadspin.
No brainer.
I'm watching an awful Steelers game at home alone with my mother. And I just saw a little too much ass from a guy on the Ravens sideline. Where can I turn but Deadspin?
Pete and Pete, join me a few posts below/
This one... is for the ladies.
Umm, thanks MJD. I think.
OK...so he knows his way around a razor. And apparently the buffet table as well. Christ, the guy is an "athlete" (I know, I'm stretching it...he's a kicker) and looks like he's not seen the inside of a gym or a track in years.
If I looked like that, the last thing on Earth I'd be doing would be snapping half-naked cameraphone pictures of myself. Then again, I have a brain.
The look on his face just screams... "they are so going to want to see the rest of my 'plant foot'"
And special thanks to Gawker Media's crack UI and page design teams who made me see that pic a second time when I just wanted to avert my eyes and open the comments.
The goggles... they do nothing....
I came here JUST to make a "Dick in a Box" joke and I should have known someone would beat me to it. +1 Rob Ircane.
Also, as a Steelers fan, I suppose it's good to know that even off the field, the Steelers are having trouble scoring ... but doing everything in their power to try.
seeing that hurt my eyes almost as bad as the giants game
"Will it really mighty my penis?"
My eyes! The.. oh, wait.
Dammit Rob, beat me to it.
Manboobs
Wait a minute, a razor? Or a razr?
Hahah You can always rely on Deadspin to bring the cock.
As one of the resident Deadspin ladies, I have to say, you remember that Seinfeld episode with the good naked and the bad naked? Well, this is bad naked.
Also, for some reason (maybe it's the pinkness, maybe it's the hairlessness), but this picture really reminds me of the fetal pigs we had to dissect in high school biology class. Hott.
Where is Starter Wife when you need a comment from her?
He seems to really enjoy looking at himself in the camera.
And the only reason I'm posting in this thread is so I can be beneath Major D.
Dweeze, looks like you were too slow on the draw. teaser mare has come between us.
And I'm going to beat you to it this time.
twoeightnine-
The razr is sooo 2006. This new year it's the CRAZR. Get with it, dude!
Sexualy harass like a champion today.
After just now getting a wireless signal in this godforsaken town, I can honestly say I am horrified by what I saw when I booted up Internet Explorer.
Damn you all. And Merry Christmas.
Well someone should probably tell the guy making over $1 million a year that, not the unemployed guy who loses his phone weekly.
I'm late to today's sad, sad party, but well played Rob Iracane,.
Why would that image tell a lady anything? That you're groomed, sure, but is the mere fact that you POSESS a dong supposed to be enough? Because I have to say, it is not.
Are you sure he wasn't trying to dazzle them with his man-boobs?
If you do a Google News search for "Jeff Reed", the Deadspin story comes out on top, with the picture no less.
Also, I'm disheartened to find out that Jeff Reed is a former Tar Heel. Well, they did teach us good grooming in Chapel Hill.
I just realized that there's no more new posts today. Which means Lady Schick here is going to continue to show up all day.
George Bailey just ran by and yelled "Merry Christmas, shaved pubis!!"
No "shanked"? Really? Wow. Is that decorum in action or something? Because I cannot, in this universe or any other, the only person who thought of that.
Scott Van Pelt - bummed Jeff Reed wasn't around to give voicemail pointers.
Another kicker wearing the diamond earring??? Hell maybe he got this idea from Vanderjerk!
I have looked at this picture maybe a dozen times now since the 24th... not knowing really what to say, but something about this picture caught my attention.....then this morning it hit me. His camera phone is better than my camera phone.
Geez, who let Balk in here on Christmas eve?
Thank goodness it wasn't Polomolou.
you merkin' it?
"Next, you stuff your junk in that box.."
I love you guys.
If Reed wanted to impress a woman by showing her his stub, why not show her his pay stub instead?
go heels!
WARNING: MAGNUM OPUS AHEADI just picked up a juicy tidbit up from the chief administrator of the Gasface Club (and sworn but uwitting adversary of JS200), Mondesi. See that flyer? That's a fat hanging curveball. Poppin Bottles with Models? Steelers' safety Mike Logan? DJ Phinesse?
In the land of projections, hypotheticals and unicorns, we are 6-5, hung like Ron Jeremy and have the looks of both Brad Pitt and Denzel.And our fantasy football team, clearly, wins all the time.But we don't live in that magical world.
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