Deadspin
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn?
The type that will bust you in the mouth, of course.
According to The Washington Post, during Sunday's Redskins win over the Eagles in Philadelphia, some totally-out-of-character-for-Philly fan poured beer on Rhonnel Hearn, otherwise known as Clinton Portis' mother. She didn't handle it well, turning around and punching the woman in the face.
"She busted some lady in the nose, but that'll just teach you about messing with her," Portis said. "If you decide your team is losing and you want to cause trouble, then you're going to get what you're looking for. And yesterday, whoever that fan was, they got what they were looking for."
Honestly, we expect her to show up at Portis' weekly dressup press conference this week. Can we please get Portis to take over for Donovan McNabb and his mom in those Campbell's commercials now? Who wouldn't love that?
In Philly, Mama Said Knock You Out [Washington Post]
Comments
I say Rhonnel should be in a 3-way match between herself, Donavan's mom, and Donovan's 'TV' mom (the ol' lady from Hangtime)... hmm are they the same person?
Portis' Mama is not a small woman either. She looks like she can dish out a serious punch. And as much as I tire of the Redskins media saturation here in DC, I look forward to Clinton's hijinks every week.
The best part of all this was Joe Buck. Last year he almost died of a hissy fit after Randy Moss fake mooned the crowd in Green Bay. Portis' mom is surrounded by police and escorted out of the stands for her own safety and nothing from America's greatest living announcer? Where is the anger Joe? The self-righteousness?
Import, I'm almost down with your Tough Mama idea, but I implore you to replace Chunky Soup Mama with AI Mama. "Did Tawanna tell you that? Did Tawanna tell you that?!?!?!" is among the greatest sound clips of all time.
Please... how in the heck did Portis' mama know someone poured something on her? I mean, did you see that hat she was wearing? At least we know where he gets his Press Conference wardrobe.
bmill525: My favorite parts of that whole Summer of Iverson was the guy selling "FREE Iverson" shirts who said they stood for "Find Real Effective Evidence" and A.I.'s mom going, "A.I.'s just trying to keep it for real for real for real!" (Yes, she calls him A.I.)
bmill et al... if AI's, McNabb's, Clinton's, and VCarter's moms got into it... who would: a) win in a cage match? b) cook the best meal? c) win the 'ghetto-fab' beauty contest?
P.Diddy's mama would definitely win the 'ghetto-fab' beauty contest. she could be considered b/c Diddy did run the NYC Marathon last year.
While there's no way to defend Philly fans for pouring beer on an older woman (or any woman, or anyone), or for heckling Daunte Culpepper's wife as they did last year (imagine the things she must hear in the stands now?), i would like to point one thing out: it seems that every incident in a philly crowd is reported somewhere, while no one reports similar incidents that happen all over the country every sunday. In Kansas City, the fans pelted Hollis Thomas' family with beers and were escorted from the stadium; I saw it myself. In New York, a Jets fan stabbed two people in the bathroom last week. In Oakland, children are sold in the bathrooms to zombies and forced to exist forever as the undead, forever costumed ridiculously so as to hide their awful zombie-like appearances. Probably. And everywhere else aroudn the league, there are fights, and beer dousings, although in Arizona, it may be considered a friendly gesture to cool someone off with a shower of Busch. Anyway, the point is: we in Philly have had our share of stupid incidents, and may even lead the league in obnoxiousness, but I think the media has a hand in perpetuating the myth that we're all savages, because only the Philly incidents are highlighted, while others are ignored.
Import, it's patently clear that AIs mom would win in all categories. And if she didn't, it would be because of the media's damn lies and us people believing whatever they told us.
Alright bmill... but Clinton's mom had the cutest church crown
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