Cris Collinsworth thinks Eli vs Peyton is gonna be the best game ot the year. enough said.

Das Dlong Das Dit's Dnot Dannon Darpe.

The fact that Marv Albert remains unemployed as a national NFL TV broadcaster damns every single network that carries a game.

Oh, and Sterling Sharpe is a retard.

Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?

Jerome Bettis is currently practicing his "WHOOP! WHOOP!"s for the highlights package.

I'm praying that Bettis gets fed up halfway through season and bludgeons Sharpe to death using Collinsworth and then finishes by testing Costas vast trivia knowledge with questions about football in the 1940's.

Ahh, life would be good then...

Bob Costas should never have to share the screen with anyone.

They're paying Madden in chicken wings, right?

Sterline is not a retard. Dannon is the retard.

Wait, Jerome Bettis is from Detroit? Who's his Tiger?

how come groupies who shag coaches never seem to get pregnant?

A) are the older dudes firing blanks, or
B) more careful than their players, or
c) do the groupies realize the potential pot of gold isn't worth hauling a 20-lb sack of flour around for nine months?

maybe belichick can weigh in for us.

Happy with the group....except Collinsworth. Why this guy is so well liked I have no idea. At least he scares off the crows from the set....

I heard a rumor that by week 3 Andy Dick is going to show up on screen and have Costas check out the red ant bites on his ass.

The thought of having sex with Andrea Kramer has made my penis retract into the skin.

Now I have to go to the bathroom to see if I can excise my penis.

Bob Costas will regale Jerome and Cris with stories about how the great Frank "Home Run" Baker's locker was built on an anthill, causing him to get painful red welts all over his body.

Oh and Bowden^3, sorry for using the exact same joke, I should have looked before I snarked.

Costas has always been my favorite sports-anchor-dude. I wish we could get him and Bob Uecker back in the box for the world series again.

Chris Collinsworth is useless... which is why I nominate his new nickname be "hand-job" or "HJ".

Denis, that's some weird freaky mind voodoo you got working over there...

Belichick probably has nothing on Madden - I bet the Madden Cruiser sets records for NFL groupie action!

No worries, Yostal.

Isn't Andrea Kramer kind of wrinkly and old? Or am I thinking of the wrong person?

I hate this idea. The commentators are fine, but I hate the idea that the "big" night game is going to be on Sundays now. I've already watched football (drank a lot) all day, let me get some sleep so I can recharge myelf to get drunk and watch some MNF the next night.

I think the part that angers me the most is that the idiotic ESPN crew on Monday nights is going to be the last announcers I hear every week. Theisman makes me want to stab my eardrums out.

And there's really people that like Collinsworth? I had no idea.

I'm hoping for some great technological advancement that will result in a tv set where TK is the only announcer who can be heard during MNF.

Thanks Yostal. I like your style.

I agree. Sunday belongs to HBO shows.

On Fridays this fall, Kremer will appear on "The Today Show" to pitch female-friendly NFL stories.

First up: How to make seven layer dip while blowing your husband!

Go to hell Costas!

I bet that this is the year that Collinsworth's forehead becomes transparent due to it being stretched so tightly. (This will occur when Madden mistakes its shiny surface for the teleprompter.)

Although there is alot of disdain for Collinsworth on the board, I used to love his fights with Aikman in the booth - I don't see the Costas, Bettis, Sharpe, Collinsworth being as entertaining though.

Has anyone noticed how uncomfortable Michaels can make Madden. At least twice a broadcast Michaels will start to ask questions about Madden's coaching days - it's kind of like your best friend asking questions about your ex in front of your current girlfriend.

Isn't Peter King also going to be on the show to regale everyone with stories about coffee and travel headaches?

"...like they shoot him full of pancake batter and adrenaline right before he goes on air."

That's exactly how I get ready on Sundays, just replace "pancake batter" with "beer" and "adrenaline" with "additional beer."

BDD- Only seven layers? I make a nine layer dip...

Here come another Dr. Z column about announcers.

adderrall_slim says:
Cris Collinsworth thinks Eli vs Peyton is gonna be the best game ot the year. enough said.
***********
So how come Archie's other son Ricky (Jr.) is never mentioned in these tedious "who's the better/best Manning?" discussions?

RACISM!

(boy, that's fun).

When did Jerome Bettis move to Detroit?

But StarterWife, can you do it while someone admires the top of your head?

Oh, and Theisman is truly God-awful.

And you're only a starter wife?

Well theoretically, the wife doesn't have to take care of the top layer.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I would LOVE to stomp on Collinsworth's dome while he's biting on a curb. I'm just sayin'

Denis,

Glad to hear it. I was worried you were going to go all bitchcakes on me since you're still suffering from a case of ABSA Fever. Now that I know you know the secret of management, all is well and I will take off in my Super Karate Monkey Death Car.

Thanks Bowden. I'm gonna yak now.

LaRue,

I think its cause Ricky Jr. has actually been to a super bowl.

Top of her head? The TV's on!

haha. Rockin' Joe Stalin everybody!

This type of talent hasn't been assembled since the 2005 Yankees... so I'm guessing Madden is going to injure his wrist in a big crash, Costas will pull a hammy, and Summerall will finally realize he's too old and lost some zip off his fastball.

Aaaand at the end of the season they'll be in 1st place.

eeerrr... make that 2006.

Oh, Peter King will be on the show! Oh, thank God! I was worried no one there would talk about Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and Brett Favre. What a relief!

I'm also glad because Peter gives us in-depth hunches like, "I think Peyton's gonna have a huge year. Just a gut feeling." I need to know shit like that!

I dont want a BJ from anybody who got BJ lessons from Andrea Kramer.

I will bet Madden knows more about food, too.

Since adding chicken wings, i think Madden's dip is up to about 14 or 15 layers now.

I don't know adderrall, those older women, they pop those dentures out and wow!

Yostal,

I'm not going B-cakes (that's the street version) yet. And remember, Good fortune happy lucky big time for you and your family.

Is it still cool to yell "Norm!" whenever Peter King appears on screen? Because my wife would really like me to stop.

Here's a guy who when he runs he goes faster!

Here's a guy who when he eats a big meal, he takes a huge dump later!

Why are they commentators on television but we on the internets are mere commenters.

Isn't that like the difference between conversing and conversating?

And now I await the grammar nazi blitzkreig

What's going to happen if Jerome has to call a game from Detroit? You know, he's from there. Has that ever happened before? Has a person once played a game in their hometown, then later, in a secondary career, also worked there? I don't have the number for Elias Sports Bureau, but I'm hoping that at some point, someone on NBC makes mention of the fact Jerome is: (1) from Detroit, (2) there is an American football team based in Detroit, (3) that someone makes the connection that Jerome is from Detroit AND PLAYED FOOTBALL AS WELL!

Then we'll get down to some real learnin' about Jerome, Detroit, and football. Maybe Madden will do some crazy telestratin' about it!

I'm supposed to be working. You're with me, IT department monitoring programs.

Will King also be discussing the massive dump he took over the weekend?

Tell me what you had at Starbucks this morning Pete! I need to know!!!

Denis,

I'd like to read a little now from Chapter 3, the story of my first great business triumph: