I'm still waiting to hear the opposition's platform for what they'd do different. You guys should go work for the DNC.

I dunno, how about showing real sporting events with little or no fanfare, followed with in-depth reporting on a salient issue in the world of sports? Why there are hours upon hours of poker on the worldwide leader and no rugby is a constant source of vexation for me.

BoSox, I agree. That would be nice. Now: sell ad time on that network. Oh, and remember: I can watch baseball on my computer, and rugby on my satellite network, and get in-depth reporting right here on Deadspin. What's ESPN giving me that I can't get somewhere else? Sadly, the answer to that question is: Chris Berman. Stu Scott. And, regrettably, Stephen A. Smith. CNN, MTV, ESPN-- they are dinosaurs, people. Relics of a bygone age. You just gotta let go.

Why should ESPN change anything? Everyone who's posting comments over there clearly watches 6-8 hours of ESPN a day!

Top Ten Things that ESPN Should Do Different (or differently, for those who still use adverbs): 10. Replace EVIL fake press conferences with normal analysis of what teams might do in off-season. Not to get all postmodern on you, but press conferences are not really "news" in the first place. The press conference is nothing but a staged event, created solely to promote the sport - mostly by offering free food and drink to journalists. Airing a fake version of an already prefabricated event is seriously dumb - especially on what is, allegedly, a news show. One SC without catchphrases. One. Please. Do it for the novelty, like when NBC once broadcast a football game without announcers. Do it as a special feature, for sweeps. Do it for the children. Do it for any reason at all. Pretty please. We're officially begging. 9. Somehow convince Chris Berman that he isn't America's conscience. We can take the moronic nicknames. (He used Ron "Great" Dayne after the Denver game - as lame as it gets.) We can take his endless references to the classic rock songs most viewers were bored with by college. We can even forgive Berman's pathological need to leave no pun unmade. But someone must tell this bloviating doofus to stop lecturing America every time a holiday rolls around. We don't need a dork who never got laid in high school pontificating on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, the significance of September 11th, or how best to commemorate Veteran's Day. 8. Expand EA Sports NFL Match-up to an hour-- or possibly three. Then -- brace yourself-- develop programming which delivers the same in-depth analysis for other sports, such as baseball, basketball and log-rolling. ESPN simply spends WAY too much time outside the lines - trades, feuds, signings, smack and rumors of smack. What ESPN should be giving us is more PLAYS - more inside the lines. (Incidentally, we have a bone to pick with Every Day Should Be Saturday. Though we agree that Sal Palantonio is a cutie, EDSBS should have presented some evidence before calling him a lesbian.) 7. Give Kenny Mayne a nightly half-hour sports/comedy/talk show. In three years, Mayne will be the people's favorite to succeed Letterman. 6. No more biopics - ever 5. Ditto for game shows 4. Stop treating motorsports like a redheaded step child 3. Find a female anchor besides Linda Cohn. 2. Atone for the crimes of losing Olbermann, Kilborn, Steiner and Eisen And the number one thing ESPN should do to improve their product … 1. Fire Stuart Scott -- on the air, "Dream Job" style.

Very depressed. My first post on Deadspin and it's riddled with errors. Here the right version: Top Ten Things that ESPN Should Do Different (or differently, for those who still use adverbs): 10. Replace EVIL fake press conferences with normal analysis of what teams might do in off-season. Not to get all postmodern on you, but press conferences are not really "news" in the first place. The press conference is nothing but a staged event, created solely to promote the sport - mostly by offering free food and drink to journalists. Airing a fake version of an already prefabricated event is seriously dumb - especially on what is, allegedly, a news show. 9. One SC without catchphrases. One. Please. Do it for the novelty, like when NBC once broadcast a football game without announcers. Do it as a special feature, for sweeps. Do it for the children. Do it for any reason at all. Pretty please. We're officially begging. 8. Somehow convince Chris Berman that he isn't America's conscience. We can take the moronic nicknames. (He used Ron "Great" Dayne after the Denver game - as lame as it gets.) We can take his endless references to the classic rock songs most viewers were bored with by college. We can even forgive Berman's pathological need to leave no pun unmade. But someone must tell this bloviating doofus to stop lecturing America every time a holiday rolls around. We don't need a dork who never got laid in high school pontificating on the true meaning of Thanksgiving, the significance of September 11th, or how best to commemorate Veteran's Day. 7. Expand EA Sports NFL Match-up to an hour-- or possibly three. Then -- brace yourself-- develop programming which delivers the same in-depth analysis for other sports, such as baseball, basketball and log-rolling. ESPN simply spends WAY too much time outside the lines - trades, feuds, signings, smack and rumors of smack. What ESPN should be giving us is more PLAYS - more inside the lines. (Incidentally, we have a bone to pick with Every Day Should Be Saturday. Though we agree that Sal Palantonio is a cutie, EDSBS should have presented some evidence before calling him a lesbian.) 6. Give Kenny Mayne a nightly half-hour sports/comedy/talk show. In three years, Mayne will be the people's favorite to succeed Letterman. 5. No more biopics - ever. Ditto for game shows 4. Stop treating motorsports like a redheaded step child 3. Find a female anchor besides Linda Cohn. 2. Atone for the crimes of losing Olbermann, Kilborn, Steiner and Eisen And the number one thing ESPN should do to improve their product … 1. Fire Stuart Scott -- on the air, "Dream Job" style.

Ooh, I like the Kenny Mayne idea. But it's completely antithetical to everything else everyone is saying. Wouldn't a sports/comedy/talk show fall pretty firmly into the Sportstainmentastic! category? And as a chick, I'd certainly love it if they found another female anchor-- but the chances of that working out in anyone's favor are slim. After all, outside sports-geek circles, I suspect Jeannie Zelasko tests very well. Sorry I forgot to use an adverb earlier. As you can see, I am an illiterate slob. I do want to make it clear that I'm on the side of good here. I just hate empty complaining, and I want to encourage you all to use your minds for good instead of evil. And j.blo does have a point: If everyone who whined about this crap actually stopped watching ESPN, maybe they'd notice.

I don't have a TV at home. hope that helps.

"Ooh, I like the Kenny Mayne idea..." Thanks. It would work if it were sedate, funny and self-effacing - gently chiding the Powers of Bristol, ala' Dave and CBS. Think more Craig Ferguson than Steven A. Smith. Base it in LA, hire real writers - it would so work. Of course ESPN/ABC/Disney would say they already have a talk show - Kimmel... Yeah, so how's that goin'? "And j.blo does have a point: If everyone who whined about this crap actually stopped watching ESPN, maybe they'd notice." They notice. (A lot of ESPN people read Deadspin. Seriously.) Think of the awful shows that have been canceled - but quick. 'Playmakers' and 'Teammates' among them. Thank goodness. ..You know, I watched 'Teammates' once - the one with Jennie Finch. Felt so dirty afterwards.

Pardon me for going all industry on your ass, but Playmakers was widely well reviewed, ran its full 11-episode season, and continues to be heralded as a rare example of EOE gone right. It was cancelled only because Paul Tagliabue not-so-discreetly hinted that if ESPN wanted to persist in showing the seedy underbelly of the NFL, then perhaps they could find another sport to broadcast on Sunday evenings. As for Teammates, I might be wrong here, but I think it, too, ran its full order, then re-ran its full order, and just hasn't come back yet. I only watched one, too-- the one with Barry Zito, probably for the same reason you tuned in Ms. Finch-- and I can't say I miss it... but I also can't say it was any worse than Skip Bayless and Woody Paige hollering at each other, or the terrifying Harry Potter SC highlight from a couple weeks ago. Look, I don't want to keep coming off like some crazy apologist-- oh, if only you knew the rage I have inside! But ESPN (hello, all you employees watching and caring what the blogging people think!) has made a pretty large financial commitment to EOE in all its forms, and the LA bureau is only gonna expand. I think it may be time to get used to it. Like I said earlier today, the playing field has changed drastically in the last 25 years, and what you're seeing is a relative dinosaur struggling to compete in a world where most kids would rather be playing a video game, anyway. Now, let's talk about things I'd like to see fixed. 1. Can we get more nationally televised Astros games? um, that's all. thanks. ps: Craig Ferguson? really?

I don't know....on one hand, I despise Stuart Scott....but on the other hand, how else is a middle-aged white father of three boys expected to learn urban catchphrases that make his sons cringe and squirm so uncomfortably? To my demographic, the man is a treasured resource.

Really? Wow. I thought 'Playmakers' was unwatchable. Proof once again that I am severely out of touch with what the peeps like. "What's ESPN giving me that I can't get somewhere else? Sadly, the answer to that question is: Chris Berman. Stu Scott. And, regrettably, Stephen A. Smith." To a certain extent, I agree. But there is still stuff you can't get anyplace else. Watching baseball is fine (unless it's my Royals, which is embarrassing). But seeing one game is no substitute for what you can get on Baseball Tonight. Sure HR is sometimes annoying and stole a Gold Glove from Frank White. But the show still has no peer elsewhere. apostles03: They call you apostle --because you be speakin' the truth. Booyah. AP3 in the hizzy.

Even with Shapiro's Galactus-sized ego somehow shipped out of Bristol on a flying fortress miltary plane or a fleet of 67 tractor-trailer trucks, there is still no explaining the strange moves forced on ESPN's Manhattan-based shows. Making "Cheap Seats" have a live studio audience doesn't help, and firing the original producer of Cold Pizza is not going to win over the coffee mug demographic. Also, even though the Disney big wigs let the Magazine keep its swank Midtown digs, it has not helped as SI and even the Sporting News continue to scoop the shit out of the overly-art directed let's-put-another-scowling-black-athlete-on-the-cover programming guide. Wow, Buster Olney left the NY Times for a big gig with the Magazine? Yawn of the year. Who cares? It's got zero credibility.