geez, my pot smoking white whine drinking college professor neighbor never STOPS talking about the mayan calendar. The only way to get her to stop talking about 2012 is to keep her drinking and smoking. Ugh. I didn't expect Deadspin to reference such activities.

As a lifelong Phillies fan, I love Dutch. It is sad though to see two(Tocchet) of the all-time 80-90's Philly sports greats hitting some low points. Although Dutch did provide one of the greatest sports qoutes of all time. Q-"Dutch what do you think of the Von Hayes trade?" A-"I think its great...who did we get?"

The Mayan calendar (and other ancient calendars, actually) ends around Dec. 12, 2012. Most people, however, think it doesn't mean the end of the wordl but a major change TO the world. Judging by the weather outside and scientists saying Greenland is melting much faster than previously thought, I'd say 2012 might end up being just about right. If you ask me, this already is a world where Daulton is sane.

Put the Steven King novel down, for the love of god.

While Daulton is crazy, there's something to be said for that Mayan calendar jazz. A lot of people buy into that; apparently their predictions were very accurate in all other senses. I don't think it's true, but now that Darren Daulton has endorsed it, let's just say I'll breathe a lot easier on December 22nd, 2012.

That Hooters waitress freakin' RUINED him!

I actually think Dalton is referencing the Celestine Prophecy...about everyone being made of energy...you can actually see it... I've read it. and I feel your energy, Dutch.

SH- it's Stephen King not "Steven" and i'm pretty sure he writes about evil clowns and the such. If he has a book about the Mayan Calendar i've yet to see it. For those who saw Chappelle on Inside the Actor's Studio should know it's not right to dismiss people as being crazy.

Wanna why I put no faith in whatever the Mayan Calender has to say? Where the FUCK are all the Mayans? Yeah.... that's what I thought. Ha! Some great "God" they had. Silly Rabbit, Trix are for KIDS.

Err... "Calender"= "CalendAr". I'll mock dead religions all day, but, I have no patience for typos.

Dalton's breathing out of the wrong goddam eyelid again. I'll definitely take cues from a civilization confused about why water falls out of the sky every so often. http://www.godchecker.com/pantheon/mayan-mythology.php?dei...

Um, the Mayans are still around- all over Mexico actually. You can tell which one they are because they are the ones that are short, portly and have rounded faces.

Enjoy those London Olympic Games everyone. We may never see their like again etc. etc.

Nine comments and no Darren Daulton/Donnie Darko jokes? For shame, people.

...I notice he you shied away from putting him in the same league as Carl Everett. Now THAT'S crazy.

Me no good syntax sometimes.

Speaking of plum crazy, Andy Dick's B-day is Dec. 21st.

What a load of bunk, if you ask me. I astrally project myself beyond 2012 all the time, and everything I've seen is fine.

It's also Paterno's birthday as well. I think he'll be turning 133 that year.

I like how Lidz sneaks in a little cheap shot about Daulton's baseball abilities: "Reality is created and guarded by numeric patterns that overlap and awaken human consciousness, like a giant matrix or hologram," writes the .245 lifetime hitter.

Darren Daulton is a shining example of why no one should ever trust anyone named Dutch. No good has ever come of anyone named Dutch, except by accident.

I actually attended "Darren Daulton Night" at The Vet in late June '98 (the turnout was 44,000-plus, not what was pictured above ... which says something about the psychos who are Phillies fans, of which I'm one). Anyway, Schilling took a 1-0 lead into the eighth against Tampa Bay, but then let it slip away by serving up an opposite-field grand slam to pinch-hitter Paul Sorrento to snap a 1-1 tie.

Well, at least, I THINK Sorrento hit a grand slam. It might've been a mirage of innumerable particles and the vibrating energy of which Dutch speaks. I'm conflicted to think that Sorrento hit a grand slam, but he didn't hit a grand slam. The ball sailed over the fence, but it didn't sail over the fence. Reality of eating at Pat's King of Steaks after the game was created and guarded by numeric patterns which overlap and awaken human consciousness, like a giant matrix. "Can I get more Provolone on this matrixed, hologramed cheesesteak, please?"

Once again, I'm late to the game. UM, Stephen King wrote a trippy fantasy series involving multiple planes of existance, utilizing a mish-mash of cult references regarding energy and other new age bullshit. It was only 7 books long, so I can see how you might have missed it. http://www.stephenking.com/DarkTower/flash_index.html

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