Deadspin
Think you guys can handle one more Mike Tyson bit? Sure, why not, right?
We are conditioned to enjoy any blog entry that starts with the phrase, "I just had a roller coaster of an interview with Heidi Fleiss." Yeah, we bet. At The Movable Buffet, which is a rather outstanding name for a site about Las Vegas, there's an interview with the most famous distributor of women for sexual purposes in which she says Tyson is interested in working at her brothel.
To quote her: "It was in June. I said to him, 'You going to be my stud?' And he said, 'Heidi I don't care what any man says. It's every man's dream to please every woman no matter how old, how young, how fat, how pretty, how ugly, it's every man's dream to please every woman and especially get paid for it.' And, he goes, 'Hell yeah, I'll be your number one stud.'"
At first we were rather confused, because we thought Tyson might work at Fleiss' brothel to please men, which, considering he wants to fight women now, seems potentially like a fitting switch. Though one could also call that "prison."
Mike Tyson To Work In Brothel? [The Movable Buffet]
Come Watch Mike Tyson Fight A Kangaroo [Deadspin]
(UPDATE: Jesus, look who they're letting fight on this "tour." Yipes.)
Comments
Why would a woman travel to Vegas and pay Tyson when she can get raped for free at home?
Will Don Flamenco work there too?
I am so glad my fantasy of being sexually assaulted and then having my ear bitten off by a boxer can finally come true. That jar under my bed full of change will finally be of good use!
And I thought I was going to have to save my money and ask Peter McNeely instead.
I was under the impression that King Hippo was Heidi's number one stud.
It's not rape if she pays for it, your honor.
Un-fucking-believable... I wish I could have heard his lispy, squeaky voice utter those words.
Didn't Tyson approach Jenna Jamison about performing in one of her movies?
The guy's broke, and if we can learn just one lesson with Bill Simmons' obsession with Boogie Nights, is that a guy will do anything for money.
and this probably will go down as one of my favorite lines ever: "hell yeah, I'll be your number 1 stud."
You know, my ex-girlfriends birthday is coming up....
He wants to fight women and work in a brothel. The donkey punch is all fun and games until someone gets killed.
his signature move involves gently nibbling on the girls earlobe
Quick aside: Nick Broomfield's Heidi Fleiss movie is frickin' genius, if only because it includes several interviews with two of the most bizarre people this side of Joey Porter: Coked-out Hungarian pimp Ivan Nagy, and the late, great, irredemably pudgy Madam Alex. Highly recommended.
And, oh yeah, Tyson should totally do this.
Some people will do anything for Tigers WS tickets.
Heidi plans on renaming the place Eli Roth's Hostel: The Ride.
I misread this entire post initially. I thought it was about Heidi Klum and Will mistook Seal for Mike Tyson.
You'd think drinking one of those mondo coffee things from starbucks would make me MORE aware of what the hell is going on around me.
It worked for Butterbean.
On a slightly Tyson related note, did anyone read Simmons' new article? It feels like there are 2 or 3 questions that come directly from Deadspin. Not to mention the whole 'Anchorman' slant on the UM-FIU brawl.
I was Heidi's first choice but my wife wouldn't let me do it, so Heidi asked Mike.
Remember - dodge his uppercuts or you're gone. Be careful when he winks at you; an attack is coming, but when he blinks jab him in the face.
It's "Every man's dream to please every woman"? That's not what the beer commercials tell me.
I hope everyone realized that Tyson was the bitch in prison. What the hell else would you expect? My 3 yr old niece has a lower voice than Tyson. I'm just waiting for someone to convince Tyson that he can make a lot of money being the star of a snuff film.
I normally don't do interviews with women unless I'm paid to fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore ... Unless you want to, you know...
Everytime Tyson punches a woman in the gunt, a blinking star appears over her head....
It wont be long now until Tyson is donning a gimp mask and chugging balls....
I still want to see Tyson fight that guy Bob Sapp (think he's a kickboxer)
He is no. 1 stud in all of Almaty.
Tyson is fighting a dinosaur? Why am I not surprised.
"every woman no matter how old, how young, how fat, how pretty, how ugly"
Anyone else notice that Iron Mike 'forgot' to juxtapose something with "fat"? At least we know how everyone's favorite cannibal likes his women.
BTW, I once had a Kazak roommate when I studied abroad and it frequently scares me how good of an imitation Borat is of his voice and overt bigotry and cluelessness.
Little Mac couldn't last a day in prison.
And to think of all the respect I had for Tyson before hearing of his willingness to be a male prostitute. Well, at least Ear-Biter Magazine's Sexiest Man of 1997 is finally available to fuck regular folks.
I can't believe nobody's made a Mutumbo joke, so lemme give it a shot:
WHO WANTS TO SEX TYSON?
For anyone who is interested I have the code to get to Tyson on Punch Out tattooed around my right forearm. "007 373 5963." And yes I am a nerd and have nothing specific to add to the topic.
Beat up women, sex up women... make up your damned mind, Mike.
I heard on Stern once that Tyson has coke-can girth so, ya, he probably needs women that are extremely thick in the britches.
It is every man's dream to please every woman.
Michael. There's no pleasing any of them.
"Think you guys can handle one more Mike Tyson bit?" shouldnt it be BITE?
Since someone mentioned Borat, I can totally hear Tyson in his tiny little voice saying "Please come visit me in brothel. If it not sucess, I will be execute."
Tyson also advised
"To be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels."
"...and especially get paid for it." Wow. Glass Joe could head up the valet team.
Heike Kagero kinda looked like a hooker...
I shudder to think what Mike might be biting of.
there is an "I want to eat your babies" joke somewhere in here, but I just can't seem to find it
In light of the update, and since it hasn't been said already . . .
Run, you stupid fucking dinosaur, run!
I'd be way more intimidated by LT asking where the bitches were than Tyson.
Tyson doesn't need to ask. Where there are no bitches, he makes one.
If we're going to mention Simmons' article in here, I have to note the he named Ariana Huffington as a member of the "Diane Lane over 40-hot chicks" list.
It's true. Simmons has totally lost touch with reality.
I would totally do Arianna Huffington. But that is because I have a thing for batshit republicans who turn into batshit democrats.
Sir Hotbod,
I believe the comment you were looking for was:
If the condom breaks, Mike Tyson will eat your children free of charge
I don't know about that Jedi...Ariana looks pretty damned good for a 56 year old (completely ignoring her political stance and awful accent). And Simmons did have an Aurora Snow mention after all.
+1 Mackey.
Big ups on introducing the Movable Buffet to Deadspin. It's tied with Deadspin for my favorite places on the Interweb.
They tried to make me go meet my doom
But I sucker punched my coach and hauled to my dressing room
The next day the headline in the town:
"Fresh Prince breaks camp, Tyson wins first round"
Some fool asked why I ran away
I said "a good run is better than a bad stand anyday"
My career is over as far as fightin' but
I don't know what made me think I can beat Mike Tyson.