Deadspin
Remember Kevin Brown? Awesome for the Marlins, injured for the Dodgers, pissy for the Yankees, kind of a dumb hot-headed Hoosier type? Of course you do. Good ole Kevin Brown.
Well, now that he's retired and filthy stinking rich, he's living high off the hog, ooh-wee, in Macon, Georgia. And apparently he's threatening his neighbors with weaponry.
[Brown's neighbor Michael] Haws said he called the sheriff's office after a loud argument that began when he found Brown throwing grass clippings over the fence into Haws' yard on Breighton Court, which backs up to Brown's multimillion-dollar estate on Brown's Ridge.
When Haws confronted Brown, the two men argued and Brown pulled out a gun and told Haws he'd better not come onto Brown's property, the report stated.
OK, first off, the idea of Kevin Brown throwing grass clippings onto his neighbor's lawn is hysterical. ("Get your own goddamned mulch, Haws!") But we love the reason Brown gave for carrying a gun on his person: "He carries a gun while strolling through the woods because he often sees snakes." All righty then. Now we know what to do if we ever see Kevin Brown, uh, anywhere. Particularly a place with trees.
Retired Pitcher In Turf Battle [Macon Telegraph]
Comments
it's like living next door to ditka!!!
brown then proceeded to punch the fence that separates the two yards, breaking his right hand.
Don't forget he was an unsufferable prick with the Rangers, too.
2-1 odds says he shows up on the DL tomorrow with an inflamed shoulder after throwing grass.
I see snakes wherever I go. Maybe I should stop drinking.
Why is it that the first comment to every post today is exactly what I was going to say?
He's just livin' in fear of Lonny Baxter.
he also had a great year in whale's vagina
jen- kindred spirits
Bad, Bad, Kevin Brown, baddest man in the whole downtown. Badder than ole King Kong. Throw grass clippings on your lawn.
Shitty Overpaid Injury-Prone Pitchers on a Plane!
Get out of my head, Deadspin commenters!
He should have shot the clubhouse wall.
If they let him take his firearm on a plane, perhaps they wouldn't have so many promblems with those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane.
Kevin Brown won't give me back the Pele ball.
*I had a Mike Ditka joke all lined up for this but UM beat me to it. That's the last time I close deadspin in order to read an interview with mark from Blink182.
Avoiding the obvious Snakes on a Plane comment, I'm just curious what he uses to kill mice, a flame thrower. I can see him now, in the quiet still of the forest in deer stand, slowly bringing his RPG up to his shoulder....
The long awaited "mulch" tag has finally arrived. Thanks, Will.
Sigh. Don't let's start infecting the rest of the country with the St. Louis-area misuse of Hoosier.
Think of the children.
Sorry Tom, in the time it took me to type, you went the snakesonaplane route. Wasn't trying to give you a hard time, just wanted to ruin the jokes of others.
Fighting off...Snakes on a Plane...urge
Get these motherfucking grass clipping off my motherfucking lawn!
There. It's done.
if i had his arm, i would have been using throwing stars to kill the woodland rodents and reptiles.
and nunchucks. maybe a bowstaff.
Good lord, what a psycho.
And to think, when he was with the Yankees. He was the next door neighbor of one of my high school friends.
HE MUST PROTECT THIS MULCH
That's one farm in Macon I won't be picking 'shrooms from.
The guy has a multi-million dollar estate. Shouldn't he have a house boy to throw the clippings over the fence?
Clearly he does not come from old money.
Ditto Mr. Postman E., Ditto. The urge is strong. I feel like I should add a Samuel L. style MOFO just to calm down a bit...
It's good to know that Brown has kept doing 'roids, even after retirement...
Don't joke about this. Kevin Brown is the anti-christ.
jeff weaver and kyle lohse in a pitcher's duel through 5.5 innings?
it'll probably still end up 7-6 but i'm stunned for now.
Aren't you required to cary a gun in Macon Co.?
This is the second time I've found myself in this neighborhood without my nunchcuks, and I am not happy about it.
BTW, Christmas Ape, not bad on the Jim Croce line.
The Snakes on a Plane people have finally found some publicity that they don't want: being associated with Kevin Brown.
Was it called Brown's Ridge before or after he moved in? 'Cause he strikes me as more than conceited enough to rename property after himself.
Oddly enough, I'm in the middle of listening to a Continuing Legal Education lecture on dealing with difficult people. This is a situation where I would just walk away and I don't think I need my CLE to know that.
wait. he built his multimillion-dollar estate on Brown's Ridge... or did he name the ridge after himself? does he have that kind of power? if so, the Hee Haws didn't have a fightin' chance with their washboards and moonshine jugs.
Is this the same kind hearted fellow who destroyed a club house toilet with a bat; leaving the mess for some janitor to clean up?
i see you arlo pear, you can run but you can't hide!
Is Macon in Cobb County? If so, the Big Boss Man is going to be coming after Brown.
Stev D, there are much worse ways you can "destroy" a clubhouse toilet...
Kevin Brown's Wikipedia entry has been recently updated.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Brown
David Ortiz then came along and hit that bag of grass clippings into the next county.
This proves that nobody on the Hawks smokes any shake.
And it's not even Whacking Day yet.
I don't know what his neighbor was worried about the last few years he couldn't find the strike zone and I doubt he was doing much better at hitting his neighbor's lawn.
Sir Hotbed, I've got some bad news for you. The Bossman is dead. Of course this now means that Kevin Brown and Nailz can go on drunken mulch throwing sprees and no one can stop them.
Then Javy Vasquez showed up and set the whole town on fire.
You git the hellll of my poppity!!!!!!!!!
kind of a dumb hot-headed Hoosier
Really, is there any other kind?
Like some folks say: "You can take the redneck out of Georgia..."
Think of the children.
I don't know about anyone else, but I don't care about the children. Especially not the hoosier children.
no! not the IRON garden CLAW!
Really, is there any other kind?
yes, his name is Jimmy Chitwood
cough...'roid rage...cough