Deadspin
You might think that Peter King's gruesome description of the preparations he took to prepare for his colonoscopy would be the most disturbing thing you'd read all day. It would seem like a good bet; Peter, we love the freedom you have online, but there is such a thing as decorum and good will to your fellow man. Please: No more in-depth descriptions of your need to poo. Thank you.
But anyway, that's not the most horrifying mental image your sports pages bring you today anyway. From Peter Gammons' Sunday blog, about Roger Clemens' "training habits:"
All the Team USA pitchers — and pitching coach Marcel Lachemann — were in awe of Roger Clemens. But one thing they weren't ready for was Clemens taking that Icy Hot that pitchers rub on their shoulders and arms and spreading it over his upper thighs and private parts. "He doesn't want to get comfortable on the mound," says Jake Peavy, who tried the same trick Friday night in Phoenix.
That's right, folks; Roger Clemens spreads Icy Hot on his crotch. This explains so, so much.
Peter Gammons' Blog [ESPN Insider]
Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback [SI.com]
Comments
We once convinced a teammate, back on a bus ride from a 6th grade soccer game, that it was a good idea to Icy Hot your jock. "Feels relaxing", we told him, and he was just gullible enough to spend the last 20 minutes back to school in mortal agony. My guess is that somebody wanged Clemens with the same prank and he's just rolling with it.
I now understand why he threw that bat at Mike Piazza. I thought it was the ball indeed.
If the ump's watching him real close, he'll rub a little jalapeno up his nose, get it runnin', so if he ever needs to load the ball up... just wipes his nose.
Holy crap man- I accidentally got IcyHot on my package one time in high school when I had a pulled thight muscle. It was the most pain I've experienced up to this point in my life. I found the nearest bathtub, filled it with cold water, and sat there for an hour. IcyHot was definitely not made for genital comfort- mission accomplished Rog...
in highschool we called this "hazing"
So let's see, we now know that Roger has tried to hurt his children who were grown, unborn, and, we find out now, unfertilized. What does he have against his own offspring?
I, for one, feel for Peter King and his "issues" in preparing for his colonoscopy, and fully applaud his willingness to talk about it publically. You can't just sweep pooping under the rug. It's an issue we all face, and the sooner we can talk about it in public, the better we'll be as a society. As Ice T reminds us, "poopin' ain't easy."
You guys just can't leave Clemens alone... this may be true... but I would love to just once see something nice about my baby on here... I love Rog...
Danes, If any of us knew of something nice to say about Roger we probably would.
Look on the bright side Dane, at least you're not a Duke fan. Or a Bonds fan. Or a Fred Smoot fan. Well, actually, I think we're all Fred Smoot fans. But I digress.
Roger first discovered this treatment when he was victim to a fraternity prank in college. The Tri-Lams really pulled one over on him. In response to their ingenuity Roger only had one comment "NERDS!!!!"
This was obviously a prank designed to cause Jake Peavy immense discomfort.
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