According to WUSA9 in Washington, D.C., the Washington Nationals are about to announce their new owner ... and it's not Fred Malek. The report — which Major League Baseball has denied — says that estate magnate Theodore Lerner's bid is the winning one for the franchise, if he still wants it, considering it has Jim Bowden as a GM and is about to be swept by the Reds.

It's bad news, of course, for rejected bidder Fred Malek, who is most famous for both helping Richard Nixon rid his administration of Jews and killing and barbecuing a puppy as a young man. It's a shame he didn't win the bid; it would have provided all kinds of material.

By the way, the guy who got the "scoop" for the Washington station? It's Brett Haber, the former SportsCenter anchor. We had forgotten about that guy.

New Nationals Owner To Be Named [WUSA9]
Potential Nationals Owner Wants To Kill And Eat This Puppy [Deadspin]

(UPDATE: Everyone's shouting down this report, so you know.)