Deadspin
Everyone has been trying to come up with a nickname for Detroit Tigers first baseman Chris Shelton, who has nine home runs and is destroying everything right now.
Most of the nicknames have had something to do with Shelton's red hair, but that's too easy, as far as we're concerned.
Fortunately, the curious gentlemen at Gheorge: The Blog have come up with an excellent answer. Chris Shelton is Sloth from The Goonies.
Sometime last season, long before he became some hybrid Bob Hamelin/Dave Kingman HR-hitting machine, Baseball Tonight flashed Shelton's mug on the screen, and only one image flashed in my mind...think 1985 tale of misfits, desperately searching for "One-Eyed" Willy's lost treasure in order to save their parents house...think dark, dungy basement...think Rocky Road...that's right folks, stand and applaud if you want for the 2006 AL MVP, Chunk's best friend, and GTB's Athlete of the Week, Chris "Sloth" Shelton...
It's perfect. Not only is the physical resemblance somewhat scary, but if Shelton were to make a run at the all-time home run leaders, we would have assurance that the legend of "Baby! Ruth!" would remain pristine and ominpotent.
Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth! [Gheorghe: The Blog]
Tigers Fans Confused [Deadspin]
(UPDATE: It appears we are not the first people to come up with this idea. Great minds, as they say.)
(SECOND UPDATE: Oh, and also here. So maybe we were a little late on this one.)
Comments
Sloth loves Chunk!
Valiant effort, Will. But for me, and the guys at WizzNutzz, Popeye Jones is the definitive Sloth of sports ... http://www.wizznutzz.com/birth.html
YOU HAVE ANGERED POPEYE JONES!!! http://www.wizznutzz.com/images/birth_popeye.jpg
Man, I'm not ugly after all.
Or, rather, I'm not quite that ugly. Let's not go overboard here.
No, no, no... Sloth is Popeye Jones. (scroll down) With that said, I do see some Dobby in him...
Don't forget, Sloth was played by Oakland Raider Super Bowl winner John Matuszak aka Tooz.
I think he looks more like that fella from Shaun of the Dead, personally. http://detroit.tigers.mlb.com/images/2004/04/21/yrwwneAG.j...
HA! I BEAT SKEETS
Clearly he is Brian Peppers twin. http://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/images/brian_peppers1.jpg<...
If Sloth is already taken, may I suggest nicknaming him Nosferatu?
why would you post that? go wash marcy's new benz!
Here's hoping Sloth Shelton can't figure out how to work the interweb...
The more I look at him, the more I like Jane's call: 'Shelton of the Dead' it is.
Does anybody else find it weird that Utah has "UU" on their hats?
And oh -- waving hands excitedly -- "Hi Chris!"
Why they wouldn't go all out and go with "UUU" is beyond me. That'd be a first, no?
can't we just call him "Ron Howard's Goofy Looking Cousin"?
He looks like Corky from "Life Goes On".
Who gives their kid a middle name like "Bob?" Christopher Bob Shelton? WTF?
John Sickels (at minorleagueball.com) posted a thread for pithy statements three weeks or so ago. My entry was "If Sloth from the Goonies was a player in the MLB, his name would be Chris Shelton." Other candidates for Sloth included Jay Gibbons and someone else . . . can't remember who it was. But for me, Shelton wins, since his ears stick out funny.
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