Deadspin, Sports News without Access, Favor, or Discretion

Week In Review

Well, That Was A Fun First Week

• Shaun Suisham does not have a foot of the Gods.

• Chris Snyder's broken ball. Ow.

• Drew Magary: Editor-at-Large

• Dwyane Wade would not like you to buy this product.

• A-Rod's having a tough week.

• Euro 2008: Hooray for Spain!

• Fucking Favre.

• Gimelstob: This man should probably stop talking for a little while.

• Awful Announcing has replaced coffee.

• Olympic Mascots are scary

• Red Sox Nation salutes all of you.

The weekend: You're all off of the hook. Thank you very much for all of those who volunteerd this weekend (all 89 of you, sheesh), but as it turns out, it will not be necessary. Go outside and live a little. That's what I plan on doing.

But all of those who did send an email will be considered for the permanent weekend editor slots to be announced late next week. If something earth-shattering does happen, I'll be sure to put it up. Right now, barring a choking death at the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest or Alex Rodriguez jumping in the stands to feel-up Madonna, it won't happen. Turn off your computers, for once.

Be back here on Monday to haze the crap out of Clay Travis, the new guy. Things will get up to speed soon — promise. Rick and I thank you for your continued patience. Happy 4th. Start drinkin'.

5:15 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
11,547 views, 731 comments

Whimsy

Faceless Spectators At Wimbledon Making Spectators With Faces Uncomfortable

Whatever kind of creepy counter-culture stunt this couple with the skin masks are performing, it's getting London a little worried. More »

5:00 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
12,186 views, 48 comments

It's The Williams Sisters...Again

Venus and Serena Williams each won their semi-final match-up and will meet in the Wimbledon Finals for the third time. Serena usually beats up on her sister in Grand Slam matches, winning five out of the six times they've met. More »

4:15 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
2,220 views, 42 comments

happy birthday united states. here's an Outback steakhouse gift card

To Watch Tonight

What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ...
• Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2]
• Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and 6:30 p.m., ET) [Speed]; NASCAR Nationwide Series, Winn-Dixie 250, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla. (5:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Grand-Am Rolex Sports Car Series, Brumos Porsche 250, at Daytona Beach, Fla. (8 p.m., ET). Well, my evening is set. [Speed].
• Swimming: Olympic Trials (8 p.m., ET). I have an Olympic-sized duck pond. [USA]

4:00 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Rick Chandler
2,024 views, 30 comments

Latest by kbjone: @Napoleon's Battle Plan: And that will be my second pick in the Boob Draft. \Canceled? more »

Roger Clemens

Roger Clemens And Brian McNamee's E-mail Bromance Is Something Special

The Smoking Gun has published the October 2006 email conversations between Roger Clemens and his trainer, Brian McNamee, on the heels of the erroneous Jason Grimsley affidavit report by the LA Times. The exchanges both show that the love between these two partners in ass-injecting infamy is boundless — and that Roger Clemens is a brilliant wordsmith. More »

3:20 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
8,619 views, 85 comments

Don't hassle the Hoff! [USA Today]

8 comments

NBA

The Seattle Sonics Could Not Be Saved

Sonics Owner Clay Bennett is a jowly-faced bastard. I'm doing him a favor by calling him that because that’ s probably one of the kinder things he'll be called from now on by heartbroken Seattle residents, who after two years of thinking their beloved 41-year-old franchise would stick around if they lobbied hard enough, now get to watch Kevin Durant play in Oklahoma City next season, even though their town wasn't washed away by a hurricane. The WSJ Daily Fix blog , which did a brilliant round-up of the whole ordeal, floats this little life raft out there for the fans: More »

2:15 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
6,731 views, 136 comments

Latest by IchiroSuzukiSamurai: @GoldenPolynice: The Storm were sold to local owners and signed a longterm lease at KeyArena. So we still have our most recent championship team, for whatever it's worth. more »

Whatever you do, you just don't mess with a man's scooter. [Blue Chip Suspect]

25 comments

Minor enterprise

Dave Rozema's Infamous Karate Kick, Immortalized In Bobble Form At Last

It may be a short week for Deadspin, but it's a big week for minor league baseball promotions ... so drop your pants and fire a rocket for Minor Enterprise.

The glorious career of former pitcher Dave Rozema is cherished and studied by every drunkard, reprobate, fuckoff, ne're-do-well, rascal, rotter, tosspot, brawler, bounder, lout, louse, screwup, barfly, dipsomaniac, tippler, pug and toker who ever followed the Detroit Tigers. And by many, many other baseball fans as well. This is a man whose exploits nearly defy description, both on the field and off. But for all of his deeds and misdeeds, the crowning moment had to be on May 14, 1982, during a benches-clearing brawl between the Tigers and Minneosta Twins.

1:30 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Rick Chandler
4,910 views, 62 comments

In Brief

Once a Labor of Love, Sales of Football Rosters Now Inflame Passions

FROM KOTAKU.COM: July is the most anxious month for the independent roster editors devoted to Electronic Arts’ NCAA Football franchise. More »

1:20 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Owen Good
12,181 views, 58 comments

ESPN Lady Killers

Stu Scott's Well-Wishes Are Much Appreciated

Washington Post Bog maven Dan Steinberg once again caught up with everybody's favorite late night text-messager, Stu Scott, for a little chat about, oh, anything he could think of at the time. More »

1:00 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
9,173 views, 73 comments

Oh no he di'n't!

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day

ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ...

• "Elton will stay in LAC because 'help' has arrived ... it'll be tough, though!" — Handrix

12:30 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Rick Chandler
1,787 views, 76 comments

Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley's Petulance About His Gambling Problem Is Truly Entertaining

The always entertaining Round Mound of Double Down is still hanging out at casinos ("It's for charity!) for the "Ante Up For Africa" tournament and caught up with RawVegas to, once again, let people know he's not gambling. Apparently, it it's the media's fault that he's no longer allowed to gamble. I think Wynn's Las Vegas Resort and his bank account would beg to differ. More »

12:15 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By DAULERIO
2,498 views, 59 comments

Hey, anyone want to buy a really expensive, possibly racist painting of a 1920's Yale/Harvard football game? Well, it'll be up for auction at the Javits Center if you want it. [Animal New York]

44 comments

MLB Closer

How Will Yankees Fans Greet A-Rod Tonight?

Thank God for the Yankees that their next series with Boston is in New York. With a separation from wife Cynthia and rumors of canoodling with Madonna thicker than Newman's Own Thousand Island dressing, Alex Rodriguez must have more on his mind than Jonathan Papelbon. But how will his own fans greet him? Will there be any cone bras in the crowd? Sean Penn masks? The theme from Evita being sung by a heavenly choir of visiting Red Sox fans? Nope, probably not. After the Yankees' bats woke up in an 18-7 win over the Rangers on Wednesday, Hank Steinbrenner is not in the mood to tolerate distractions. Please be upbeat and courteous tonight, Yankees fans, or prepare to be waterboarded in the security office. Just like any Yankee game, come to think of it. More »

11:30 AM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Rick Chandler
4,544 views, 76 comments

Latest by theblackdog: @Quick Draw: Madonna, Papelbon, he just gets so confused on which one he finds sexier. more »

Ronaldinho in a T-shirt looks like most of us would. Stop eating so much bread, man. [AOL Fanhouse]

42 comments

In Brief

NHRA Shortens Track After Fatal Crash, No Longer 1/4-Mile

FROM JALOPNIK.COM: As an interim safety measure in the wake of Scott Kalitta's fatal crash, the NHRA has decided to shorten the length of the race in the Funny Car and Top Fuel classes from 1320 feet down to 1000 feet. More »

11:00 AM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Mark Arnold
2,820 views, 62 comments

Deadspin

Brett Favre: The Packers Really Don't Want You To Come Back (But ESPN...

Gawker Media Network